Being Mrs Black
by binaryeclipse
Summary: Edward/Bella. Reimagining of Twilight. What if the Cullens don't arrive until three years *after* Bella does? What if Bella married her best friend before ever meeting Edward? Can a love ordained by Fate break sacred vows? Only Bella can make that choice.
1. Pregnant Pause

PART ONE: Pregnant Pause

"...If there's anything to see, we should have it in just a moment." Dr. Cullen made some minute adjustments to the screen he was intently absorbed in; I held my breath, waiting for the verdict. The moments dragged on and he kept me in suspense, gliding the cold, slippery probe across my flat belly as he deliberated. I was beginning to wonder if the good doctor had a sadistic streak when he finally nodded, a smile of satisfaction curving his lips. "Ah, there we are."

"We?" My voice sounded choked, but could you honestly blame me?

He chuckled and shook his head, turning the ultrasound monitor so I could see. In the murky darkness on the display, something stirred. There was a steady rhythm to the movement, and I realized after a long moment that the tiny squiggle had a heartbeat. "Judging by what we can see here, I'd estimate that you're eight, maybe nine weeks along?"

"Wow." That was the only coherent thing I could think to say. I didn't imagine it was a typical response to the news of impending motherhood, but Dr. Cullen seemed to take it in stride. To be honest, that was one of the reasons I'd come to him instead of submitting myself to the tender mercies of the tribal clinic. That, and I hadn't wanted the entire reservation to be in on the joke before I left the building.

Taking a deep breath, I let my head fall back against the cushion, contemplating the ceiling as though it held the answer to everything. So... I'd skipped a period. No big deal, right? Happens to everyone now and then. Coming on the heels of the wedding and sending Jake off to Iraq, it really should have been no surprise. Stress makes your body do bizarre things, etc, etc.

Then a second period chose to be tardy. That I couldn't ignore. Bad luck and I were far too well-acquainted to let it slide. Even then, I confess, I never actually considered the worst case scenario. I already had my prescription for birth control. Of course I did, I was too smart to be the dutiful war bride, barefoot and pregnant on the home front while the menfolk were smiting the infidels. I'd insisted on enthusiastic condom usage on our honeymoon, and trust me, that won me no points with my dear husband.

I had done all the right things, made the smart choices, and yet all I had to do to enjoy the fruit of my wasted efforts was turn my head to the left and admire baby's first snapshot. I looked at it out of the corner of my eye, jaw clenched. For a fleeting moment, I considered quietly taking care of this tiny problem. I could go to Seattle, have it all over and done with in a day. Once Jake was home there would be plenty of time for this, time when we were actually ready to be parents.

The pang of guilt was immediate and fierce. There was a life inside of me, small and defenseless. It hadn't asked to be here, hadn't asked to end up with the absolute worst excuse for a mother ever. A part of me and a part of Jake had fused together, and that determined little heartbeat was proof that life had been the result.

"Are you alright, my dear?" Dr. Cullen's hand rested gently on my shoulder, and on impulse I reached up and covered it with my own. The poor man had the coldest hands, it could be downright unpleasant at times, but I had seen evidence in my handful of appointments that he had the warm heart to go along with them.

"Yeah." I smiled tentatively. "It's just a lot to take in."

"I'm sure." He leaned against the exam chair I was reclined in. His unusual golden eyes were filled with compassion, his smile fatherly. "It can't be an easy thing to contemplate, with your husband overseas." Crossing his arms, he considered me carefully. "Normally this is the point at which I'd refer you to someone else for prenatal care. I won't lie to you, Bella, the options are limited here in Forks. Now, obstetrics isn't my specialty, but I've delivered my share of babies over the years. If you think you'd be alright with it, I'll be happy to continue managing your care during your pregnancy."

When he said he would refer me, I tensed. I'm not all that good with doctors to begin with, bringing a strange one into the picture for something this... well... _intimate_ didn't sit all that well with me. "Dr. Cullen, I can't tell you how much I'd like that." My relief was there in my voice. Dr. Cullen had made an impression on me, I suppose. Not only did I find him to be a good doctor, I just considered him to be a good person.

"There is a very good nurse mid-wife here in Forks," he said as he shut down the ultrasound machine. "Once you're further along we can discuss bringing her in for the delivery. You might find it more comfortable to have a woman involved at that stage."

I nodded, a bit distracted at the thought. To be honest, December might as well be a lifetime from now. I still had to live through several potentially life-threatening events in the interim. How the _hell_ was going to break the news to Renee? She'd practically had a stroke over the wedding, announcing that she was going to be a grandmother so soon after that seemed almost cruel. For both of us.  
"Take a minute to get dressed, then come to my office. I have some literature for you. Reading suggestions, dietary guidelines, that sort of thing. You'll definitely want to look into a good prenatal vitamin." He frowned thoughtfully, and I almost laughed as I imagined him considering the slim shopping choices in Forks. "The internet may be your best option there," he conceded with a sigh. Giving me another fatherly smile, he patted my knee. "See you in a few minutes."

I hopped down as soon as the door closed, going to the curtained-off corner where my clothes waited. I folded the drape I'd kept over my legs, then gratefully shimmied out of the hospital gown, relieved to get back into my t-shirt and jeans. As I pulled the shirt down, I hesitated, eyes drawn to the dusty mirror that hung on the wall. I turned sideways, running a hand over my stomach. It was a tentative touch at first, then more exploratory, my fingers splaying across my flat belly protectively. Could there really be a life in there? Growing and changing just beneath my fingertips? I bit my lip, wondering when the next time I could talk to Jake would be, wondering what I would say when I did. 'Hey baby, glad you're not dead. Btw, I'm knocked up!'

I sighed and closed my eyes, fighting off a headache. This was going to take some thought.

Scooping up my jacket, I headed for Dr. Cullen's office. The enormity of my news consumed me, and I slipped through the half-open door without registering the fact that the good doctor wasn't alone. It was the sound of a sharply indrawn breath, more of a hiss really, that snapped me back to reality. Startled, I looked up and my gaze collided with a pair of intensely amber eyes.

If those eyes could have eaten me, there would be nothing left of Bella Black but a few crumbs on a napkin. The more disturbing part was, a tiny voice in my head suggested that I just might have served myself up on a silver platter for him. Married women aren't supposed to have thoughts like that, not even about beautiful young gods that randomly haunt doctors' offices. Married women don't find other men so incredibly, heartbreakingly lovely that their hearts race, either. I could have listed off a thousand other things about him that made my knees weak and brought my sanity into question, but those thoughts came to a screaming halt as his expression changed from fascination to horror to loathing all in the space of a heartbeat. This wasn't simple dislike, I've seen that too many times to misread. This was dark, unbridled hatred, as though he'd like nothing more than to wipe my existence from the world.

The tension spiked so fast that I felt dizzy, trembling like a leaf in the wind under the force of his glare. My own fixation was gone, replaced by the sort of primal fear that prey feels when the predator goes on the hunt. It was like standing in the darkness, and becoming suddenly aware that you're not longer alone, and that the darkness isn't friendly.

"Edward." Dr. Cullen's voice was firm, commanding. "This is Bella Black, one of my patients." Later, I'd wonder at the slight emphasis he put on my last name. For now, I was still trapped by Edward's eyes, held captive until the moment when he finally looked away. I staggered back a step, clawing at the arm of a chair to stay upright. Distantly I was aware that Dr. Cullen said something else to him, something too soft for me to hear. "Bella, are you alright?" Suddenly the doctor was by my side, gently taking my elbow and guiding me to sit in the chair.

"I-I'm not sure." I glanced up through my lashes, fearfully watching the young man he'd called Edward pacing restlessly in front of the window. Those amber eyes kept darting between me, Dr. Cullen and the door.

Quite deliberately, the doctor placed himself between us, his back to Edward. "Nothing to be alarmed about. These things happen. I'm going to take very good care of you, Bella." There was a deeper meaning to his words, I could feel it, I just couldn't puzzle it out. "Edward," he said without turning. "Thank you for letting me know you made it here safely. Why don't you go on to the house? I know Esme is anxious to see you."

There was no response, no attempt on the part of the younger man to leave the room. Dr. Cullen turned his head to look at him, and something about his expression that I couldn't see brought Edward's pacing to an abrupt halt. "Edward," Dr. Cullen said again. "Please leave." I watched him while trying pretend I wasn't, and I was a little startled to see Edward's face reflect chagrin, a hint of embarrassment, perhaps even a little sadness.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle." The sincerity in his quiet voice was absolutely pure. "You're right. Of course. I'll see you later, then." Edward immediately moved to the door, staying as close to the far wall as he could. Dr. Cullen blocked my view of him as he left, so I had no way of knowing whether he'd taken a last look before he did, but something about the way the hair stood up on the back of my neck was all the answer I needed.

"My apologies," Dr. Cullen murmured. "Edward is my wife's younger brother. Home from his graduate studies for the summer." He smiled, but there was nothing carefree in his words or his manner. "You really must forgive him, he's a little out of sorts today."

"Oh... no problem." I tried on a smile, and it didn't immediately fall off my face.

"Now then..." He turned back to his desk. "Where did I put those leaflets?"

I didn't hear much of what he said after that, my eyes were fixed on the doorway that Edward had disappeared through. I wasn't sure what frightened me the most, that he might come back... or that I might never see him again.

Did I mention that I was a terrible wife?


	2. The Monster Under the Bed

PART TWO: The Monster Under the Bed

Edward POV

Imagine that you are dying of thirst, but you float on a cool, blue sea. The water surrounds you, pervades your every sense; you can feel it, hear the liquid song as it laps against your cheek, you can even smell it. What you cannot do, by any means, is taste it. No matter how great your thirst, how fierce the burning in your throat, regardless that a moment more of the agony will render you to dust... not one single, cooling drop can pass your lips. Only one drop, and it begins.

The taste is so sweet at first, so deliciously satisfying. They practically flaunt it at you, baring their wrists and their throats, flashing their veins with the most casual of gestures. So tempting it seems, so siren, so incredibly, beautifully simple to reach out and pluck just one from the throng, to slake your thirst. What you later realize is that the first swallow is all it takes, and the bitter salt begins to eat you away inside. One drink becomes a hundred, and the corruption works its way in deep, turning pleasure into greed. Truly, to feed is an addiction, for as soon as you take one hit, you're hunting for the next. The satisfaction becomes hollow, and meanwhile the salt turns to acid. It feasts on the tattered scraps of your soul, corrodes away the last remnants of humanity, until at last all that's left is the perfect shell. A hunter who lives for one reason and one reason only. To hunt, to feed, to kill.

Many years had passed since I'd last looked that monster in the eye. Naive, I thought it gone for good. My hubris was such that I imagined myself a wholly successful convert to Carlisle's peaceful way of life. No human could be so tempting as to make me risk the disappointment of the man I loved like a father. Those lovely illusions gave me such comfort. I fancied that I was a civilized being, a rational entity. My meals of animal blood were an ascetic's rations; an austerity of sustenance to allow for clarity of the mind. Such beautiful constructs idealism builds, when left to fester in the absence of true temptation.

Temptation it seemed, was unassuming. Pretty, in a natural fashion. I admit to an embarrassing dearth of the details, none of them mattered. Temptation's scent was what damned me. Human language fails to adequately convey the complexity of her scent. To call it sweet would be an insult, such a simple word was nothing compared to reality. I was the dying man, and she the cup. The water of life ran beneath her skin, rapture and delight distilled within her life's cordial. The rich aroma of it staggered me, tearing away at my false constructs of control and civility. All I had to do was take her, bring her to my lips. Her warm, soft flesh would yield so easily, giving me access to the ecstasy that ran in azure rivers beneath her pale skin.

I stood there, transfixed, unable to move for fear that the slightest twitch would give my body permission. Once I gave in even that much, the outcome was inevitable. The girl who stood in the doorway, looking at me as though she'd never seen a man before with her liquid brown eyes, would die. I'd seen those eyes before, in the elegant face of a doe, innocent eyes that had never seen the true ugliness of the world. Deep and velvet eyes that dreamed of innocent pleasures and measured the days in shafts of sunlight and the night in fallen stars. I'd ruthlessly torn the light from such eyes, more times than I could count.

Not again. I would _not_ let this insignificant woman be my undoing. Yes, I would dispose of her quickly... **No. **This would not, could not, happen. I wouldn't let it. I made the mistake of taking another breath, and the air carried her scent to me yet again. Never have I experienced anything like it. The perfume of the ripest, most succulent of fruits, the most fragrant flowers, the scent of pure, cool water to a man parched with thirst... I wanted her with every fiber of my being, the need pulsed through me with every beat of her unsuspecting heart.

Hearts? Twin beats. One a mere echo of the other, so soft I had to strain to hear it. That was when I made two impossible discoveries. The first, that the girl who stood in the doorway, mere inches from her death, sheltered a life inside of her. The second, that her thoughts were a mystery to me. So rapt was I with her scent, I had not immediately noticed the silence that greeted me from her mind. Horror warred with confusion, and then anger trumped them all.

None of it mattered. None of it. The only thing of consequence here was that I would not allow this confounding creature to erode decades of control. In that moment, I hated nothing as I hated her. If I could have reached out and wiped her from existence, I would have. If only it had been within my power, I would crumble her to dust.

_Edward, don't do this_. I clung to Carlisle's warning like a lifeline. A hold that was bolstered by his voice. "Edward." His concern was foremost, both for me and for the girl. He couldn't know my motivations, but he knew me, and our kind, well enough to interpret my reactions. "This is Bella Black, one of my patients." He gave the frightened face a name, laying weight on her surname. Black. So she was connected to the dogs somehow, and connected to him, as his patient. If something happened... With painful effort, I tore my eyes away from her, my hands clenched into tight fists that could have crushed stone. "Don't test yourself," Carlisle murmured, in a voice pitched for my ears alone. Then he moved past me to comfort her. _Bella_. She seemed shaken. She should be. If she had even a shred of self-preservation, her instincts should be screaming at her to run.

I turned on my heel and began pacing, trying to master the excitement at that thought. If she ran, I don't think I could keep myself from pursuing. If anything, the monster that lurked inside me roared its approval. It enjoyed the idea of the chase, toying with her, breaking delicate bones, delighting in her screams, all seasoned with the intoxicating power of her scent. The animal that looked out through my eyes calculated the distance to be traveled were I to snatch her from beneath Carlisle's protective wing, carrying her away.

Distantly I was aware that Carlisle was trying to comfort her. He said my name, but whatever else he might have said was lost on me. I was wallowing in the filth of my bloody orgy, indulging in the possibilities of my most base desires once I had her to myself. How could I have ever imagined myself a man? I was human in form only, a twisted, stunted abomination cloaked in an angel's marble skin.

_EDWARD. _I rocked back on my heels, staggered by the force of will behind that silent shout. My head snapped up, my darkened eyes meeting his golden ones. The intent in them, in his thoughts, was clear. Even at the risk of his own life, he would not let me harm Bella Black. For my own sake as much as hers. He knew me better than anyone, my father, mentor, guardian, and though he was uncertain of what forces were driving my actions, he understood the consequences. To break my promise, to him and to myself, to kill a mother and her unborn child... I would be lost.

"Edward," Carlisle repeated aloud. "Please leave."

The fever left me, and all I could feel then was cold. Shame was foremost, that he had witnessed my disgrace. Chagrin, at a situation that, even now, could spiral out of control. Sadness, I could feel it in us both, at the knowledge that the monster still lurked and was so easily brought forth.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle." I could only hope that my words conveyed what I felt in my heart. "You're right. Of course. I'll see you later, then." Without hesitation, I moved to the door. Even without looking at her, I could have lifted my arm and pointed at Bella Black. Her thoughts were closed to me, but I had never been so incredibly _aware_ of someone in my long life. Carlisle was grateful that he'd gotten through to me, but still wary, I noticed he kept his body between me and Bella as I made my escape. Probably wise. I couldn't guarantee that, had I seen an opening, I wouldn't have taken it. Yes, I was truly that pathetic.

The white hallways were a blur, I wanted to be outside, to drag in deep breaths of air that were free of Bella Black's scent. I burst out into the muted daylight and stood leaning against the rail, breathing like I'd just run a marathon, trying to banish her from the inside out. The silver Volvo waited for me, a trusty steed in my moment of desperation. I got in, slammed the door, let my head fall back against the head rest. Already I knew I couldn't go to the house my family shared. I needed to feed, I needed distance, and I needed time. Otherwise, the moment darkness fell, I would go on the hunt again, drawn to her blood like the flame gone in search of the moth.

Turning the key in the ignition, I backed up and then accelerated out of the parking lot. As soon as I had open road, I put my foot to the gas and did everything in my power to leave Forks, and Bella, behind me.


	3. Tea for Three

PART THREE: Tea for Three

_Bella POV_

My thoughts were not on the road ahead as I drove. I wasn't the same person that had gotten out of bed this morning and driven to Forks. That person had a smaller worldview, a greater certainty of who she was and what she should do. The person that put the aged truck in park and rested her head against the steering wheel didn't have that luxury. I pressed my hands to my stomach, taking slow breaths, in and out. My life wasn't my own anymore.

I'd thought it was. Even after getting married the illusion of having a say in my destiny lingered. It was my choice to go to school locally. My choice to marry Jake. My choice to stay behind and be the good military wife and live on the reservation and endure the stares of people I barely knew. I made my bed, I would sleep in it. There was a sense of control in that kind of thought. So why were things so completely out of control?

Well, for starters, I was having a baby. I'm no fool. I knew there was no 'we' involved in this. Jake may have been around for the conception, but there were months, maybe even years, before he'd be anything but a bystander. It was all on me. Oh, I'm sure Charlie and Billy would have their opinions and their version of 'help', but otherwise? All me. By myself. No safety net, no practice runs. This was mine to succeed or fail with. Beautiful.

Another deep breath, and I put the truck in drive, continuing on the way to La Push. Seven months to get used to the idea. Surely I could find some peace with the thought of motherhood between now and December. That seemed like a lifetime from now anyway. I needed to talk to Jake, I needed his reassurances that everything would be okay, that even from a distance I had his support.

Jake was my husband. The father of the tiny life in my belly. We'd made promises, made sacred vows, things I'd been firmly convinced I'd never do before I was thirty. He'd changed all that. So why did I see Edward Cullen's face in my mind every time I closed my eyes?

I slammed on the brakes. The truck skidded to a stop and I clenched my fists on the wheel, shaking like a leaf. He hadn't even spoken to me. Hadn't done more than stare at me like I'd made some bizarre faux pas just by breathing. Why was I thinking about him? There wasn't room in my brain for thoughts of Edward Cullen. I didn't have the energy in me to analyze every moment of our brief meeting, as though I'd forget even a single detail.

"Okay Bella, this is ridiculous." I'd resorted to talking to myself. Wonderful. "That guy was _seriously_ creepy. Seriously. Probably has mental problems galore, the pretty ones always do." See, there you go, he was too pretty anyway. Besides, I was married. M-a-r-r-i-e-d. And my husband was pretty. Just not _that_ pretty.

Dammit.

"Alright, as soon as I get home, I'm looking up prenatal vitamins. Clearly this is some kind of hormonal crap." There, a wise decision, go me. Now, it was near-dark, so I'd best be getting myself home. Pleased with my sudden wisdom, I got the truck going again.

The rest of the drive was uneventful, and it was a relief to pull up in front of the little house that I'd only recently begun thinking of as home. Sighing, I slid to the ground and closed the door without locking it. Who was going to steal a truck that Jake called 'the family heirloom'? I turned to head into the house when a shadowy figure moved in the twilight gloom of the front porch. I froze, my mind immediately going to the strange, beautiful young man I'd met earlier that day. Holy crap, had he followed me home?

"Bella?" The voice was a woman's, and I almost sagged with relief, refusing to acknowledge the tiny part of me that was disappointed.

"Yeah Leah, it's me." I silently berated myself for not leaving the porch light on as I climbed the steps, joining Leah Uley at my front door.

"I'm glad you're home." She sounded upset, and I frowned slightly as I unlocked the door, waving her inside.

"Is everything alright?" I switched the lamp on, illuminating the cozy living room. "Where's the baby?"

"My mom's watching him." Leah sat down on the couch, once I got a good look at her face I could tell she'd been crying. "I'm sorry Bella, I... just need someone to talk to. Everyone else looks at me like I'm crazy, or like they're keeping secrets from me."

"Come into the kitchen with me, I'll put some water on for tea." I headed that way, leaving her to trail after me. Sam and Leah Uley had been good friends to me since Jake had turned my life upside down. On the one hand, they were just good people, on the other, I think Sam felt slightly guilty for being the reason Jake, Embry and Quil had enlisted. It had been almost a year since he'd come back from Iraq himself, shrapnel from an IED embedded in his leg, leaving him with a permanent limp. As far as I was concerned, he was lucky to still have his life, much less his leg, and it wasn't his fault those hot-headed dumbasses had decided they needed to go avenge him. Yes, I had said that much, and yes Charlie had nearly had a heart attack when he heard me. Stupid men and their stupid testosterone poisoning.

"Sam and I sort of had a fight." Leah dropped into one of the chairs at the kitchen table, putting her face in her hands.

"Sort of?" I arched an eyebrow, looking back over my shoulder where I stood at the sink, filling the tea kettle.

"I don't know, Bella." She sighed. "He's been so strange this past week. I can't even quite explain it."

I moved the kettle to the stove, lighting the burner. "Is he having problems with his leg again?" I opened the cabinet, pulling down the clay teapot. "Sometimes pain can make people do weird things. Sam might be too proud to say anything."

"No." Something in her voice made me turn around, looking into her haunted eyes. "It's not that. If anything, his leg has gotten better." There was something in the way she said it that made me feel like I was missing an important point. I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

"Well..." I paused, then went back to the cabinets for tea cups. "Women don't have the monopoly on moody." I laughed, but even to me it sounded forced. "Jake certainly has his moments."

"It's like he's becoming a different person, Bella." Her voice was soft, a haunted voice to go with the look in her eyes. "Someone I don't know."

I bit my lip, not sure what to say. "I'm sure it's not that bad, Leah. You and Sam are strong, you'll work it out." This was not my forte, and with the day I'd had, I really didn't want to linger on the subject longer than I had to. "So... peppermint green tea or Sunset Cinnamon?" I held up two tins, trying to lighten the mood a little. With the blank look she gave me, I might as well have asked her for the time. Another sigh for me, I felt like I should be keeping score, and I put the cinnamon up, going for the peppermint. My guess was we could both stand to have something to settle our stomachs.

"Oh God." Alarmed, I looked up at her. She was staring at the woodgrain tabletop in horror. "What if it's another woman?"

"No," I dismissed that immediately. "Sam's just not the type, Leah. He's devoted to you and the baby." I shook my head. "I don't buy it."

"You haven't seen the way he's been acting." Leah was working herself up into a panic, I'd seen Renee do it too many times not to recognize the signs. "First I thought he was sick. He was running a fever, but he wouldn't let me take him to the doctor. Then he started sneaking around all the time. It's awful Bella, I don't know what to do. This is not like Sam at all."

"No matter what's going on, Leah, I don't think it would even cross his mind to be unfaithful. Seriously." I was losing her, I could feel it. If she freaked out, I might just lose it, too. That wasn't something I was willing to do. I'd fought too hard to keep my house of cards steady today, if I let her knock it down for me, there was no telling how long it would take to rebuild. Well fine, I'd just have to give up some ground to keep some. "Hey Leah? Not to change the subject..." I hesitated, did I really want to let the cat out of the bag? Did I have a choice? "I was just wondering if you could make some suggestions for prenatal vitamins."

"Prenatal vitamins?" Score one for me, she was distracted.

"Yeah..." Closing my eyes, I resolved myself to my chosen course of action. "There are so many options, I'm just not sure where to start."

"Bella..." She got to her feet, coming to the counter. "Are you pregnant?"

Last chance to dodge the bullet. "Just found out today." I looked up, hoping my smile looked like an expectant mother's should.

"Oh wow! I had no idea you'd been trying!"

"Well... We weren't, really." Oh, so many things I could say, but wouldn't. "It just happened. Doctor said I was due in December." That sounded good, like the sort of things that women are supposed to say about being pregnant.

"This is wonderful!" Suddenly she was at my side, and it was all I could do not to shy away. I had the sudden, intense desire to be alone. But I couldn't say that. All I could do was smile and pretend to be just as enthusiastic as she was.

"I haven't told Jake yet, of course." The tea kettle chose that moment to whistle. I pulled it off the heat, taking the opportunity to reclaim my personal space. After all, there were already two of us sharing it, three made it kind of crowded. "So I'd appreciate it if you'd just keep this between the two of us for now."

"Of course." She leaned back against the counter, lost in thought. "I have loads of information I can give you. I'm sure as Adam gets older, I'll have baby stuff to pass along, too."

"Great!" I put the tea into the pot and added the water, letting it steep. "I'm glad I have you here to help me." And I would mean that tomorrow.

"This is going to be amazing, Bella. You have no idea." Bouncing forward, she hugged me, and after a moment, I made myself hug her back.

"It's already been... unlike anything I've ever experienced." That, at least, was the absolute truth.

"I'm so sorry for showing up with my problems when you had this kind of news!" The apology was genuine, and now I felt bad for manipulating her.

"Don't be. Men are strange creatures. I can't blame you for wanting someone to talk to." I patted her arm, then handed her to the teapot. "Here, take this to the table, I'll grab some cookies." I pulled the tea cups to me, grabbing a package of cookies from the pantry. Ultimately, I supposed it was better to be doing this than to be here by myself, obsessing. The problem was, if Leah wasn't here... what would I be obsessing over? Being pregnant? Or Edward Cullen?

I couldn't answer that. I wasn't sure I wanted to.


	4. An Impossible Distance

PART FOUR: An Impossible Distance  
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Bella POV_

Going by the clock on the microwave, I'd been sitting at the kitchen table, staring at my cellphone for the past fifteen minutes. In our email exchange I had said that I'd call him between 6:30 and 7:00pm his time. Another fifteen minutes and the window would close. Maybe that was what I wanted.

I'm a coward, I can freely admit that. I wanted to hear his voice, I needed to know he was okay; of course I did. But if we spoke, I'd have to tell him, and telling him would make it real. I was still on the fence about whether or not I could handle that. Although I'm not sure it could be anymore real than the bout of morning sickness I'd had about an hour ago. Pretty hard to dispute the reality of being on your knees, praying to the porcelain god.

I sighed, took another sip of ginger ale and finally reached for the phone. Flipping it open, I held down the number 3 and watched a long parade of numbers march across the screen as it dialed. He only let it ring once, he'd been waiting.

"Hello?" His deep voice was reassuringly strong, but slightly anxious. Immediately I felt bad for making him wait.

"Hey sunshine."

"Hey pretty lady, I was about to give up on you." The warmth in his voice buoyed me up, and suddenly I longed to be there with him, to be held while I had a little meltdown over this whole impossible thing. But I didn't have that luxury. All I had was his voice on the phone, the slight undertone of static punctuating the distance between us. "Everything okay, Bells?"

"Oh. Yeah," I scrubbed at my eyes, trying to deny the existence of the tears in them. Stupid hormones. "Just... really glad to hear your voice."

"I know baby. Me too." I imagined his easy smile and I was rubbing at my eyes again, hopelessly falling apart.

"I miss you so much." Man, I sounded like a blubbering idiot. This was totally not going the way I'd planned.

"Don't cry, honey. It's okay." He was worried, probably sensing already that something was up. "You have no idea how much I've been thinking about you. It's driving the guys in my unit nuts." He chuckled. "It's 'Bella this' and 'Bella that'. If they don't believe you hung the moon yet, they will by the time I'm done."

"Really?" My voice broke on the word.

"Bella..." He hesitated. "I know you miss me, I miss you too. But I can't quite shake the feeling that something's wrong." He sounded frustrated, not with me, but with the distance. "Please tell me? Please? I need to be sure you're okay."  
_  
You left me here by myself, pregnant and surrounded by people I barely know and you're worried that I'm okay?_ I didn't say it, but a small and petty part of me wanted to. Instead, I swallowed hard and dragged the scattered pieces of myself together. "There's something I need to tell you."

"Whatever it is, we'll figure it out. I love you, Bella. That's never going to change."

"I know." Dammit, the tears were trying to come back. "I don't know how to say this."

For a long moment he was silent, and when he spoke his voice was soft but wary. "Just be honest with me, Bella."

There really was nothing else to do but just spit it out. Otherwise I might never say it. "I'm pregnant."

Again, silence. "That's it?"

"What do you mean 'that's it'?" My voice had jumped an octave. "Isn't that enough?"

"Well yeah," he said hastily, "but the way you were acting, I was expecting something awful. You know, like you were leaving me for another chick or something."

"What?" Leaving him for a... what? "What the hell are you talking about, Jacob Black?"

He spoke away from the phone, addressing someone else. "Uhoh, she just called me by my full name, I think I'm in trouble." I ground my teeth together, working on a good fury. "Honey, that's amazing news. When did you find out?"

"It's amazing that I have to do this _by myself_ while you work on getting yourself killed?"

"That's not what I meant!"

Too late, I was mad. "I don't care what you meant, Jake! I'm absolutely terrified and you're making jokes!" Great, now I was crying again, but this time it was from anger.

"Bella... I'm sorry. I'm sorry, sweetheart." He meant it, I could tell that much, and it helped to know that. "I know you've got to be scared. I wish I was there with you." For a moment there was silence, and when he spoke again, he sounded a little shaken. "I guess it's just hitting me, really... Bella, you've got our baby inside you."

"I know." Even to my ears, it sounded depressed.

"There's a little life there, part you and part me... Wow..." He paused, and then apparently the tears became contagious as his voice went hoarse and soft. "I am so sorry that I can't take you in my arms right now and show you... But I love you _so_ much."

"It's nice to know that," I said softly, "but I'd still rather have you here."

"I know." At least we were both depressed. Although that really wasn't all that helpful.

"I found out two days ago," I said finally. "I'm due in December. Haven't told anyone yet, really. Just Leah." I sighed, leaning back in my chair.

"That's good. Leah's been through this, she can help you." He was trying to think of positive things to say beyond 'wow, oh my god', I knew the way his mind worked. "You probably ought to tell the dads soon." Charlie, mine, and Billy, his. "I'm sure they'll help you as much as they can."

"Yeah, I'm sure you're right." That didn't make the prospect of telling them any more appealing. Particularly since their version of 'help' usually meant trying to tell me what to do.

"I will move heaven and earth, if it's at all possible for me to be there when the baby's born, Bella."

"You promise?" Maybe I wouldn't have to be alone for that much at least. As though summoned by that thought, suddenly I could see Edward Cullen again in my mind's eye. He was coldly beautiful, his dark eyes staring through me as though they could see into my soul. It didn't make sense, there was no reason for me to be thinking of him right now. But I was so caught up in that moment that I barely heard Jake's response.

"Promise. We've got time, we'll make it work."

"I need for us to do this together, Jake." I needed his presence in my life, so that my memories of one brief meeting with Edward Cullen would stop haunting me at random.

"We will, Bells. I swear." In the background, I could hear someone call his name. "I need to run, baby. But we'll talk again, soon. You have to keep me updated on how both of you are doing." The smile was in his voice again, and it warmed me as nothing else could. "I love you, sweetheart."

"I love you, too." We didn't say goodbye, it was kind of traditional. Mostly it was just too hard for me to say. I closed the phone and set it back on the table, biting my lip as I tried not to cry again. I'd told him. It was real now.

Taking a deep breath, I got to my feet and smoothed my hands over my pajama pants. I wasn't particularly hungry, so best to move on to the rest of the day. Laundry needed to be done, and at some point I needed to check on Leah. As of when we'd spoken the night before, Sam still hadn't come home. Maybe if I was ready for food by then we could go get lunch somewhere. Maybe...

Maybe I just wanted to lean on the kitchen counter and sob for while.


	5. Holding Out for a Hero

PART FIVE: Holding Out for a Hero

_Bella POV__  
__  
_"...Why don't you stop by the station, Bells? Haven't seen you in a week or two, we could go down to The Lodge, have a nice dinner." I made a face that I was glad Charlie couldn't see. I wasn't nearly the fan of The Lodge that he was, so I tried not to let him drag me there for less than a special occasion.

"Actually, why don't I just make dinner for us? I could go to your house, have food on the table by the time you get there." I wasn't taking any classes this summer, and there obviously wasn't much for a teacher's aide to do when the kids were out of school, so I had a lot of time on my hands. Frankly it would be a relief to have someone to take care of, I'd obsessed enough over being pregnant this past week to last me a lifetime.

"Now Bella, you don't have to do that." Methinks you doth protest too much, dad.

"You'd practically be doing me a favor. I'm bored." Time to dangle the carrot. "I'll make Grandma Swan's Stroganoff." I hesitated, that actually sounded kind of good, and normally I wasn't a fan. Frowning, I gave my stomach an accusing look. "Alright tadpole, it's a little early to rearrange my eating habits, don't you think?" I muttered.

"Well... if you really want to." He sounded pleased. I knew he would be, he'd never admit it but Charlie had been lonely ever since I'd moved out. Sometimes I enjoyed my space, reminding myself he'd been a bachelor far longer than I'd been his pseudo-housewife, but he wasn't the only one that got lonely. As cozy as the little house on the Rez was, it was still meant for two.

"I really do." Yes, stroganoff sounded good, and I think I resented that fact. God help me. "I should have just enough time to scoot by the store if I leave now."

"Okay, sounds like a plan."

"See you in a few hours, dad." Already on my feet, I hunted around for what I'd need to get out the door.

"See you, Bells. Be careful." The line clicked and I closed my cellphone, slipping it in my pocket as I stepped into my shoes. Outside it was pouring down rain and had been since morning. The street better resembled a river, and I had to pull my slicker close to keep from getting soaked as I hurried out to the car.

The truck came to life with a comforting roar, subsiding into its familiar grumpy cadence as I backed out. Careful of the puddles, I pointed its broad nose toward Forks. It seemed like I'd picked a hell of a day to be out and about, the remains of two accidents littered the road along the way. Stupid really, it's not like people in this part of the country didn't know how to drive in rain.

I hadn't spoken to Jake again since I'd told him I was pregnant. There had been one email saying they would be away from base for a few days and not to worry. Which was, of course, the fastest way to make someone worry. He would let me know he was okay when they got back, I knew that. But every day it was a little harder to be patient. I wasn't the type that needed constant reassurance, it wasn't like me to wring my hands and fret, not until now.

The truck bumped and rattled its way along the wet roads, and I tried hard not to think about where my husband might be. My imagination was too fond of things like roadside bombs and deadly scorpions, both of which figured into my little fantasies at some point or another. Shaking my head, I turned onto South Forks Avenue and then into the parking lot of the Thriftway. It was relatively empty this time of day, so I managed to find a space close to the front.

I tugged the hood of my jacket up and banged the door shut, turning to make the trudge into the store. That left me with an excellent view of the car parked two aisles over. A gleaming dark silver, the elegant sedan barely acknowledged the rain, shrugging it off like a sleek-feathered raptor. I squinted, trying to make out the insignia on the grill. Volvo, it looked like, and not the sort of car you typically saw in Forks. The obscenely gorgeous thing was sprawled across two parking spaces like a lazy cat. Stupid shiny Volvo owner, someone apparently thought they could park wherever they wanted.

I sniffed, decided I didn't like whoever it was very much, and proceeded on into the store. I quickly gathered up the ingredients for dinner, as well as a few other necessities to take back home with me later. And yes, at this stage in the game, I was prepared to call the package of chocolate chocolate chip cookies a necessity. Eating for two here, folks.

Checkout progressed without incident, and I carried my groceries back out into the rain. As I walked to the truck, I noticed two people standing next to the Volvo. A petite, dark-haired girl with a shopping bag in her hand was standing by the passenger door. But it was the person on the driver's side that caught my attention and held it; Edward Cullen stood there with keys in hand, a teasing smile on his face as he bantered with the girl. It was odd to see that expression, I guess it had never occurred to me that he could do more than look gorgeously forbidding. The fact that he possessed such a beautiful smile made me regretful and a little unnerved.

I meant to look away before I got caught staring, I really did, but he was too quick for me. Our eyes collided, and I stopped breathing. Anger, frustration, I could sense them from him loud and clear, but there was also an odd resignation, a bleakness that contrasted so sharply with the rest that my head spun. Reaching out blindly, I steadied myself against the body of the truck, unable to look away.

In retrospect, what happened next was really only the sort of thing that occurred when I was involved somehow. Think of it as one of those freak accidents where everything has to happen just right. A teenager in a sports car came purposefully tearing their way across the flooded parking lot, tires spinning in the standing water. A half-empty soda truck charged in from the opposite direction, the driver trying to make up lost time on his route by driving too fast. I was exposed, unable to tear my attention away from the Volvo two aisles down and its freakishly attractive owners, the parking lot abruptly empty in the immediate vicinity of the truck. For anyone else, the variables would never have converged so neatly. For me? Welcome to my life.

The sports car spun out, swapping ends as the driver lost control. The truck swerved, trying to avoid it, but the pavement might as well have been made of ice as the tires hydroplaned. It hit the speedbump and clipped the coupe, the top-heavy cargo tipping the truck over and into a slide. This all happened in the matter of a moment. I had no time to absorb, no time to move as all it once it hit me that I was about to be crushed between several tons of steel and the sturdy, unforgiving side of my truck.

Time slowed down, and I reflected on how vicious irony could be, that my husband was fighting in one of the most dangerous conflicts in the world unscathed, while his wife and unborn child were squished to death in a supermarket parking lot. More bitter yet was the fact that my last thought was not of him... but a kind of wondrous confusion at the fact that Edward Cullen was no longer angry with me. He was horrified actually. Horrified and intensely, stunningly afraid.

For that matter, I suppose I was scared, too. It's a natural reaction when you're about to die. I wondered if the baby would be frightened, or if life and death meant little to something so small. I guess I'd never have the chance to know... and for the first time, I knew what it meant to say that a mother's protective instincts were a force to be reckoned with. In that moment, I would have moved heaven and earth to protect that tiny life I sheltered, but I was still only human, and only a little less fragile than my child.

Only an angel could save us now, and no one would ever mistake Forks, Washington for Heaven.


	6. Giving in to Fate

PART SIX:

Edward POV

"Please don't take this the wrong way," I blinked, startled to find Alice at eye-level. She'd climbed onto a bench to achieve that. Creative. "I'm very glad you decided to come back. Goodness knows Esme was worried sick about you." Putting her hands on either side of my face, she gave me a little shake. "But could you _attempt_ to do something other than brood and make scary faces?"

Arching an eyebrow, I closed my hands around her wrists. "If that was all I meant to do, I wouldn't have let you drag me out with you." I glanced around significantly. "Is there a single thing in this store that you actually need?"

Sighing, she tweaked my nose and bounced gracefully to the floor. "You miss the point of shopping entirely, my darling brother. The joy of acquisition has little to do with necessity." She spread her arms out and did a little twirl. Not at all appropriate for an aisle filled with hiking boots, but who was I to tamper with her joy? "Possibility is the key."

"Ah yes, I'll make a note of that." The dryness of my tone was hardly lost on her, and her thoughts turned uncomplimentary towards men in general and myself and Jasper in particular. "Come on, now. Be fair. Jasper indulges your every whim."

She gave me a tragic look. "Not _every_ whim."

"Oh, don't share _that_. Please Alice, have a little restraint." I coughed and looked everywhere but at her as she giggled and fled around the corner. Evil creature.

Drawing a deep breath, I took the moment for myself. Truthfully, it was easy to fall back into the comfortable place I had with my family. Easy to forget the week I'd spent in solitude, haunting some of the most remote corners of the Canadian Rockies. The temptation to stay there had been strong, but I'd spent too long as a part of this, given too much of myself to the family we'd created. Doing without it had been painful. So I did the only thing I could... I came home.

Unfortunately that did nothing to solve the underlying reason for my absence. I'd nearly killed a woman, and there was every possibility that I might finish the job given a second opportunity. Emmett was the only one of us who had ever experienced something similar. Needless to say it had ended badly. Judging by his experience, it was only a matter of time for me.

I frowned, resenting the very existence of Bella Black. I was a creature of reason and self-control. I would not let her defeat me.

"Edward Did you get lost?" Alice was up to no good, I could hear it in her thoughts.

"Coming. And no I will _not_ wear that." Best to nip that in the bud... and the next one too, for that matter. I spent the next fifteen minutes chasing her around the store until she'd finally decided on a few items she absolutely did not need and therefore had to have. Then I drifted along in her wake as she paid and led the way back out into the rain.

Alice glared up at the sky and made a rude comment about the rain that made me chuckle. I was unbothered by it, the wet was not unpleasant, and the rain insured that there was no chance of sunlight, which would definitely put a crimp in our day. I lifted my face to the rain, letting the droplets roll down my cheeks. Tears from heaven, for those who have no tears of their own to shed. Neatly ironic, although for the moment I felt oddly peaceful.

"Are you planning on standing like that all day? Or can I get in the car before I melt?"

"Patience, Alice. Patience. You're not nearly witch enough to melt in a little rain," I assured her, giving her my most dashing smile. She stuck her tongue out at me and began singing some horrible bubblegum pop song in her head at full blast. "Oh dear god, my brains are going to ooze out of my ears!" But I was laughing, she had a particular talent for that, and I was grateful for it.

A moment was all that was required for everything to change. Like the melody of a beautiful song, her scent filled my senses. The rain dulled it, tried to wash it away, but I would know that scent anywhere. I turned, and without fail our eyes met. Memory had failed to capture Bella as she was, could not hold a candle to the real thing. She was lovely in her way, beautiful and natural in the way of the wild places. Her eyes were dark and liquid, again I was reminded of a doe, with a knowing look far beyond her years. Beautiful, alluring, and absolutely irresistible.

What I realized then, in the space of a moment, was that what would happen between us was inevitable. I could fight it and suffer, or let Fate do with me as she wished. Fate apparently had tired of my reluctance, and reached out in her capricious way to force my hand.

I'd never seen anything like it, and I watched in horrified fascination as events unfolded. The car and the truck and the pouring rain conspired to inflict as much damage as they could under the circumstances. The truck flipped, skidding on its side, bent on destroying everything in its path until it came to rest. And directly in its path was Bella Black. Very fragile, very human, about to be crushed between her own vehicle and the oncoming juggernaut. I had one thought, and it guided every action that came after it. _'Not her.'_

The distance was nothing. The danger? Nothing. In that moment I would have faced down angels with flaming swords if they were fools enough to stand in my way. My arms closed around her, dragged her to the wet pavement. There was no time to get clear, the only choice I had was to protect her with my own body. I cradled her against me, braced a hand on her truck, and took the impact of the cargo truck against my back and shoulders. Presented with an immovable object, the metal gave way with a shrill cry. Gritting my teeth, I pushed back, inertia finally giving way as the truck squealed to a stop.

Taking a deep breath, I relaxed and opened my eyes to look down into Bella's face. She was watching me, and I couldn't quite decipher the emotions in her eyes. There was no fear, oddly enough, which I think perhaps concerned me more than anything. "Are you alright?"

"I think so." She turned her head and winced, I think perhaps she'd hit it when I pushed her down. "What happened?"

"There was an accident, you were nearly crushed." My voice was vehement, and I realized that the possibility of watching her die that way had shaken me.

"You saved me." I hesitated, then nodded. "But... you were over there." She frowned, trying to remember. "By the car."

I went very still. "No, I was walking past when it happened."

She shook her head, and the movement made her scent overwhelming. "I saw you."

Pulling away, I withdrew as far I could under the circumstances, my eyes on her face. "No Bella, you're mistaken." Please stop asking questions I can't answer. "You hit your head, you're not thinking clearly." I could hear people coming, voices raised in panic as they tried to figure out how to get us free from the tangle of twisted metal. Alice knew enough to stay clear of it, but she was thinking dark, disapproving thoughts in my direction.

"I saw you," she said again, her eyes taking in our surroundings, the pocket of space where there shouldn't be one. "What are you?"

"A college student," I said firmly. "Just let it go."

"No." She frowned, clinging to the argument as though it were vitally important.

"Please, Bella." My eyes bored into her hers, begging her to stop this, to not take it any further than she already had. "Trust me." She said nothing more, but I felt her eyes on me the entire time we waited for them to get us free. Then the EMTs reached us, and events began moving forward again. "Be careful, she hit her head, and she's pregnant." Immediately I heard her swear softly under her breath and I had to fight the urge to grin. The activity around her doubled in response, and I was able to quietly refuse all but the most cursory examination, avoiding a stretcher as long as I agreed to ride in the ambulance.

As I climbed in, I met Alice's eyes across the parking lot. She nodded imperceptibly, already at the driver's door of the Volvo. She'd let Carlisle know what had happened so he would be expecting us. Regardless, the look in her eyes said that I had a lot of explaining to do.

It didn't matter. Bella was safe, and as I had a moment to reflect on that, I realized that a little discomfort on my part suddenly seemed like a very small price to pay.


	7. Fear the Alone

PART SEVEN: Fear the Alone

_Bella POV_

Well. This hadn't been on my checklist of 'things to do' for today. In fact I think I'd die a happy woman if I never found myself in an ambulance again. Strapped to a gurney, I studied the roof in silence and managed a wan smile for the EMT that comfortingly patted my arm. My mind was too busy with what had happened for comfort, stuck in the moment of watching Edward Cullen stop a delivery truck with nothing more substantial than his body.

Was I really remembering everything right? It seemed impossible, I _must_ be wrong, and yet those brief moments were seared into my mind with absolute clarity. The squeal of the tires, the certainty that I was going to die, and then the hard, cold impact of Edward's body. The strength with which he'd pulled me to him seemed infinite, my body like a ragdoll in his arms. Pressed against his chest, every breath had been heavy with the scent of him... cool and sweet, with a complexity that spoke of sandalwood, smooth amber, and perhaps just a kiss of cinnamon. Even now, if I breathed deep, I thought I could catch a whisper of it, though he was well out of reach in the front of the ambulance.

We should be dead, both of us. Instead he was perfectly unscathed, and I had only a few minor bumps and bruises. Even my truck had survived with only a small dent... a dent exactly the size and vaguely the shape of Edward's outstretched hand.

I was interrupted in my obsessive thoughts by our arrival at the hospital. I saw Edward only briefly as they rolled me in. Our eyes met for just a moment, and then a swarm of nurses descended, checking my vitals. When I had the chance to look again, he was gone. The nurses fussed a bit more, and then I was left to my own devices as the driver of the truck was wheeled in.

From the heightened urgency of the staff, I could only assume he was seriously injured. I looked around for someone to ask about him, when my personal hell broke loose. By that, I mean that my father arrived. I heard his voice before I saw him and immediately sank down lower on the bed, looking for something to hide under. Please let him not have heard the most important part. _Please._

"Bella!" He came striding around the curtain in all his police chiefly glory with a nurse hot on his heels. "God sweetheart, are you alright?"

"I'm fine dad, just fine." I glanced nervously at the nurse, wondering what he'd been told.

"I'd heard there was an accident at the Thriftway and came to take a statement, I had no idea you were involved until I got here." Charlie took my hand, searching my face. "Honey... what's this I hear about you being pregnant?"

If the world had chosen that auspicious moment to come to a brief and untimely end, I for one would not have complained. It would save me from talking to my dad about being knocked up. I waited as long as I dared, looking around for some sign of impending apocalypse, but I was doomed to disappointment. Dammit.

God, I didn't want to do this, not right now. "Well..." It's funny how life works, the old adage 'be careful what you wish for' should be tattooed on the inside of my skull. I drew breath to say more, and then abruptly doubled over as unbearable pain flashed through me. "I...I think something's wrong," I said through clenched teeth. By some miracle, the nurse hadn't moved on yet, and she immediately brushed Charlie aside.

"Where does it hurt, sweetie?" she asked me urgently, hitting a call button on the wall behind me. I couldn't answer, but my hand clenched into a fist over my midsection.

No no no, this wasn't happening. Not now. How could we have survived that awful accident just to lose out here? This couldn't happen, I wouldn't let it. Distantly, I wondered how the baby I didn't want had suddenly become so vitally important. Then I realized, that moment of danger, when I'd _known_ I was going to die had changed everything. I wasn't just a pregnant girl anymore, I was a _mother_, and there was no going back. How could I face myself in the mirror, how could I face _Jake_ if I lost this baby now?

The nurse was trying to hold me down, and I could hear Charlie bellowing although nothing he said made sense to me. God, how could this hurt so much? Panting, I tried to curl into a ball, but she wouldn't let me.

I dragged in a desperate breath... and all I could smell was sandalwood, amber and cinnamon. Abruptly, a quiet calm descended on the area around my bed, a buffer of safety that I surrendered to by instinct. "It's alright Bella," Edward whispered to me, his voice as soft and lovely as velvet. "You're not alone." The scent of him intensified, and I felt something cool and smooth touch my forehead. A kiss. Then an unexpectedly cool hand stroked my fevered cheek. "I'm right here." His hand glided down and closed over my clenched fist, gently uncurling my aching fingers so that our hands lay clasped over my stomach. That touch was so reassuring, so protective, as though we stood together to guard that tiny life inside me. "Carlisle!" From the pitch of his voice, I could tell he'd turned his head. "Over here, please."

"Don't leave." I tightened my grip on his hand, panic sparking to life at the thought.

"I'm not going anywhere," he assured me.

"Chief Swan, I'm sorry, but I really do need you to stay in the waiting area for now." Dr. Cullen's voice was soothing but firm. "I'll bring you an update on Bella's condition just as soon as I can. Louise, could you please show the chief out?" Then he reached me, his hand closing around my wrist. "Bella, I hear we're having some trouble today."

I opened my eyes and looked up into Edward's face. He was worried, I could tell from his expression, but when our eyes met, a slight smile curved his lips. "Bella seems to be an expert with trouble," he said quietly.

"We can't have that." Dr. Cullen turned away briefly, giving instructions to a nurse. "Alright Bella, I'm going to give you something to make you relaxed so we can stop any contractions. And we're also going to do an ultrasound so we can make sure the baby is alright."

"It is," Edward murmured, but I wasn't sure if that were for me or for the doctor. He lifted his head, and I was sure he and Dr. Cullen spoke, but their lips barely seemed to move, the words too fast for me to make sense of.

"I'm sure what we have here is just a case of a little too much excitement," the doctor reassured me. "But we'll do everything we can to make certain that you and the baby make it through this. Alright, Bella?" He gently squeezed my hand, and I realized that his hand and Edward's felt the same. Cool and smooth, almost as if they were carved from living marble.

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen," I smiled up at him. "I'm so glad you're here." And I meant that from the bottom of my heart.

"Of course, my dear." He smiled back, making his handsome face even more attractive. "I'll be back in just a few minutes. Edward will find me if you need me."

"Just relax," Edward said as he left. I followed his gaze to where a nurse was injecting something into my IV line. "If you start feeling sleepy, don't fight it."

"Will you stay?" I searched his face, and he arched an eyebrow at me.

"As long as I can... although I can't say your father is terribly happy with my presence." He sounded amused.

"You saved my life, I don't see how he can say much." But I knew better even as I said that. I had a feeling that Charlie was going to let me know his opinion on the subject at the earliest opportunity. I wanted to say more, but Dr. Cullen returned with an ultrasound machine in tow.

Edward withdrew a few steps, but remained where I could see him. The drugs they'd given me were making me very relaxed, practically boneless, but I wasn't ready to sleep yet. I needed confirmation that the baby was still there, still moving and growing, even though the pain had all but faded. The cold glide of the ultrasound probe was oddly comforting, as was the relatively brief amount of time that the doctor had to look before I could hear the distinctive sound of a heartbeat.

A smile curved my lips, tears in my eyes as Dr. Cullen nodded. "Everything seems fine. Definitely some growth since the last time we had a look." He chuckled as my face brightened. "But I think we may keep you overnight." He patted my knee when I frowned. "Just to be sure." Then, as before, he turned the monitor so that I could see.

So that _we_ could see. "That's... amazing." I raised my head at the sound of Edward's voice. He'd come to the side of my bed and was gazing at the ultrasound monitor. His face was rapt, the look in his golden eyes one of quiet awe. My child curled peacefully in the dark depths of my body, already beginning to take a recognizable form despite its young age. As I watched, it shifted, and you could just see the heart moving beneath translucent skin. I looked back up at Edward and wondered with a pang of regret what it would be like to see this with the baby's father. I refused to consider what it would be like if the baby's father were him.

Bad thoughts, bad bad thoughts.

"No matter how many times I see it, I never cease to marvel at what women can do," Dr. Cullen said with gentle affection. He smiled at Edward, a fatherly look, then moved aside so a nurse could begin breaking down the ultrasound. "Well my dear, we should probably get you settled in if you're going to spend the night with us. I need to make a call about the gentleman we transferred to Regional, but I'll look in on you later." He paused, and then added delicately, "let one of the nurses know when you're ready for visitors."

"I think Chief Swan's getting impatient," Edward observed, amused again, as Dr. Cullen left us.

"Chief Swan is just worried about his silly daughter." I sighed, not enjoying the prospect of talking to him. Or the idea of spending the night in the hospital.

"You could let the nurses tell him you're asleep," he suggested, and I realized that I'd let my eyes close. "It wouldn't hurt you to rest for a little while." I imagined that I felt his hand again, the lightest of cool touches smoothing my hair away from my face. "Sleep, Bella."

I meant to argue, to say I didn't need to sleep, but I had already been carried away, to dream of dark-haired babies... and angels with golden eyes.


	8. Fever Dreams

PART EIGHT: Fever Dreams

_Edward POV_

The longer I had to contemplate my actions, the more I knew something was seriously wrong with me. There was no other explanation. A girl had appeared with the power to so completely disrupt my life that I had to withdraw to the mountains to regain control of myself. The experience had been so strange, so surreal, that a few days of solitude had convinced me that I could manage the problem; that I was making more of it than I should. With that confidence, I returned home, and in less than a day the insanity had me in its grip again.

Yet even as it returned, it changed. Her scent was still a siren's song, her blood drawing me with a power beyond explanation. But those base desires were not alone, standing against them was an impulse so strong that I was powerless to resist. A compulsion to protect her from harm at all costs.

Yes, the only thing more powerful than my desire to kill Bella was the _need_ to protect her. Proof that God has a sense of humor.

The ambulance slowed, and I pulled back from my weighty thoughts, becoming aware of the minds around me again. The EMT with Bella was calm, his thoughts informing me that she seemed unharmed, just a little bruised. As soon as we were stopped, I slipped out of the vehicle and faded into the group of medical personnel waiting for Bella. It had been my intention to find Carlisle, to explain and perhaps unburden myself in his calming presence.

Somehow, despite my best efforts to disappear, dark eyes caught mine, and though her thoughts were a mystery to me, I could read the fear on her face. Fear of the unknown, of the strangers that surrounded her, of the events that had occurred that were beyond her understanding. That, along with the careworn loneliness of someone who faced life's every challenge on her own. Without knowing why, I found a quiet corner in the ER where I could see her and settled in to wait.

I told myself that it was because Carlisle was busy, I was simply biding time until he was available. Bella was a curiousity, so it was natural for me to observe her. I observed the way her hair caught the light, the way she smiled and hid her pain but was never quite free of it. I watched her expressive dark eyes disappear beneath the shade of dark lashes, and how her face flushed when someone made an effort to care for her. When she was uncomfortable, she touched her hair, letting it tumble forward like a veil, guarding the secrets that she kept close to her heart. What were those secrets? Why were they closed to me? Why did I want so desperately to know?

I think I might have continued like that if her father hadn't arrived. Immediately I sensed she hadn't shared the fact that she was pregnant, he was all but boiling over with it. I winced, I had at least a small measure of responsibility for that. I could see the tension in her from across the room as she heard his voice, and by instinct I responded to it. My body went very still, eyes narrowed, looking for something to fight, some danger to defeat. Unfortunately I couldn't save her from her father.

Chief Swan's concern for her safety was foremost, but the other knowledge was just beneath the surface. He would ask her as soon as he saw an opening, and I didn't sense enough tact in him for it to be delicate. I stepped away from the wall, listening to his thoughts intently. Even then I was surprised by how quickly he asked the question.

She panicked, and then the pressures of the day exacted their cost, upsetting the already delicate balance her body was fighting to maintain. Her face twisted with pain, and I was already in motion. For a split-second, I wasn't sure what I meant to do. I think if I had relaxed my control even a hair's breadth that I might have killed her father. That was how deeply I was affected, that the instinctive drive to protect translated into annihilation of the threat. I fought it off, feeling a flicker of relief when the nurse pushed him to one side. That left only Bella clearly in my focus... and then I knew what to do.

I watched her struggle alone, a weary soldier making the final stand against impossible odds. I watched as she fought against the nurse, trying to quiet the angry protest of her body all on her own. The sapling may bend before it breaks, but in the end it _will_ break. My hesitation gone, I stood at her side and gave her my strength.

"It's alright, Bella," I whispered. I rested my hand on the bed by her waist, leaning down to press my lips to her forehead. The scent of her was all but overwhelming when we were this close, I could hear her racing heart, the rush of the blood through her veins. It didn't matter. "You're not alone." My voice rang with absolute conviction. I stroked my hand down her cheek, willing her to hear me, to believe those words. The thirst was there and fierce, but I was the master of it. "I'm right here." Wherever the father of her child was hiding, I silently swore that he would regret every tear that he cost her, every moment of pain, every whisper of fear. If there was blood spilled, let it be his.

Straightening, I put my hand over hers on her still-flat belly, coaxing her clenched fist to uncurl. There was so much tension in her, I longed to ease her hurting, but that was not within my power. My eyes searched the room, looking for the one person that could help. "Carlisle!" His eyes met mine, and I felt the query in his thoughts. "Over here, please."

"Don't leave." Bella's voice was shaky with fear and pain. Her hand clenched tightly with mine, as though she would use all her strength to keep me there.

"I'm not going anywhere." My attention was on Carlisle, I grit my teeth when he stopped, but it was only long enough for the nurse to tell him about Bella's condition. Then he smoothly handled Chief Swan, who had been blustering right at the edge of my awareness for a few minutes now. Not to be rude, but I didn't have the patience to deal with him.

"Bella, I hear we're having some trouble today." Carlisle had reached us, and he met my eyes across the bed. I could sense his concern, he was worried that I was tempting fate by being this close. I frowned, I didn't have the patience to deal with that, either.

Bella opened her eyes, and my attention immediately focused on her again, on the possibility that there was something more seriously wrong than bumps and bruises. I looked down into the velvety brown of her eyes, and found a smile tugging at my lips despite the concern. "Bella seems to be an expert on trouble." Carlisle relaxed a little, and I briefly hoped his trust in me wasn't misplaced. He explained to Bella what they'd be doing and why. I watched her face throughout, memorizing its lines and curves, my hand still clasped tightly with hers.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on that hand, on the life that stirred beneath it. Listening to, _feeling_, the faint heartbeat, sensing in some indefinable way that it had a presence. "It is," I said in answer to the question that hung in the air. The question of whether that life was still there. Lifting my head, I spoke to Carlisle in the rapid speech our kind was capable of. "I can sense a heartbeat."

"Good. I'm confident that she's merely reacting to the stress, but we'll err on the side of caution." His eyebrow quirked. "You'll be staying?"

"As long as she wants me here, yes." I left it at that, and so did he. I'd discuss it with him later, explain myself, but now was not the time.

He focused on Bella again, reassuring her. It was, as always, impressive to watch him work. He had such an easy bedside manner. Confident but personable, he put his patients at ease almost immediately. Unquestionably, he had a gift. With a smile and a last look at me, he left Bella in my care until he returned.

"Just relax," I told her softly, watching as the nurse administered the drugs that Carlisle had ordered. They were meant to calm Bella and stave off the effects of the stress. "If you start feeling sleepy, don't fight it."

"Will you stay?" Those eyes, they captured me again. I imagined that each time they held me that I fell a little more deeply into their sway, and that eventually I would be incapable of denying their slightest whim.

I looked away, uncertain how I felt about that insight. "As long as I can..." I made it as noncommittal as I could. '_What does he think he's doing, pawing a married woman like that?_' I glanced in the direction of the thought, saw Chief Swan watching us from the waiting area and looking very unhappy. A smirk tugged at my lips. What did I think I was doing? Exactly what I wanted. "Although I can't say your father is terribly happy about my presence." And it amused me deeply.

"You saved my life, I don't see how he can say much," Bella insisted. But Carlisle's return effectively ended the conversation. I gently squeezed her hand, and then moved to a discreet distance. As long as he was satisfied with the results, Carlisle wouldn't do a more extensive exam, but it didn't feel appropriate to hover like I was her husband. Even if she didn't mind.

Even at a distance, I could hear everything that was said. I listened idly, drifting through the varied thoughts of the ER occupants. The driver of the delivery truck had taken damage, enough for Carlisle to send him to Regional. That was part of what delayed him in seeing to Bella, making that decision and the necessary arrangements. I found it hard to be concerned about the man, he wasn't blameless by any means, and if I hadn't been there to intervene, he would have killed Bella. That wasn't an easy offense to forgive.

I was saved from less charitable thoughts when Carlisle turned the screen for Bella to watch what he was doing. I tilted my head, curious. That's all I meant it to be, curiousity, but with every step I took closer to the bed, that became less and less of a certainty. Improbably, impossibly, I was captivated. My sharp eyes traced the outline of the womb, the shadows and lights of the ultrasound image, and there, curled inside that dark, hidden place was _life_. I could see its shape, watch it move, count the flutters of its heart. A tiny soul rested there, and I couldn't take in that knowledge and be unchanged by it. "That's... amazing." The words were mere breath and still Bella heard me. I felt her eyes on me, but I was too enthralled by the image on the screen to look away.

What I felt then had no care for caution, no patience with logical, rational thought. It was a longing, abandoned long ago, a desire to join my life with someone. To hold her, cherish her, to give her children, to create a family with only one another as its seeds. That longing shook me to the core, as it tried to wrap its tendrils around the idea of this woman, this child, and this life that fate had pushed me into. I stood very still, fighting a war against it that I didn't want to win. '_He has no right._' Chief Swan's thought interjected helpfully. He spoke the truth of course. Bella was married, her baby had a father.

Yes. And where was the unworthy dog?

Carlisle saved me. I'm not sure from what exactly, I merely knew it would have been unwise. I made myself listen, forced myself to rejoin the waking world and shake off my silly daydream. Bella would be spending the night, just a precaution. Unfortunately that tempted me to lurk, but I quickly dismissed that idea. I knew my sister too well, there would be damage control to do at home. A little distance from Bella Black wouldn't hurt me. And if it cooled my schoolboy fancies, all the better.

Carlisle left Bella with a reminder to let the nurses know when she wanted visitors. I could hear her father still seething from here. "I think Chief Swan is getting impatient," I told her, although I could admit that at the moment I rather enjoyed her making him wait.

"Chief Swan is just worried about his silly daughter." She sounded tired and overwhelmed. Some of it was the drugs, some of it was well-earned.

"You could let the nurses tell him you're asleep." Her eyes slid closed, but she hadn't quite relaxed. There was still a line of worry across her forehead, creating a furrow between her eyebrows. I made my voice soothing and soft., nudging her that last little way toward sleep. "It wouldn't hurt you to rest for a while." Unable to resist, I stroked cool fingertips across her brow, coaxing those lines smooth. Then I gathered the silken skeins of her hair around my fingers, tucking them away from her face. "Sleep, Bella."

I felt her drift away, and I dared to rest my hand over hers again, on her stomach above where the child slept. The monster paced inside of me, rattled the bars of its cage with discontent, but I ignored it. That thing had no place here, if I wanted to torture myself with the sweetness of her scent and the siren call of her blood, so be it. The monster would not have her. Ever. No, my thoughts were of a far more dangerous sort. Selfish, insane thoughts, and still I didn't have the strength to dismiss them. I was a very weak man, and in front of me was everything I had ever wanted. All I had to do was reach out and take it.

With an effort, I pulled away, leaving her to more pleasant dreams than I could offer. I turned my back, and walked toward the door, slowly at first and then with more confidence. I think the indignant father might have intercepted me if I'd let him. Of course, I didn't let him. I needed space and speed, and then perhaps to be grounded by the presence of my family. Walking out through the sliding doors, I realized with surprise that it was nearly dark. The rain had stopped for the moment, although the world was still a drippy, sodden mess. I followed the sidewalk for a short way and then headed for the tree line. Just before I reached the trees, I caught a whiff of something unpleasant. Something distinctive that had my nose wrinkling.

"What in the--" Looking up, I saw a pair of gleaming eyes looking out at me from the underbrush. They were only there for a moment, and then without a movement, without a sound, they were gone. My jaw clenched. I knew that smell, though the memory was an old one. Werewolf.

So, the wolves were on the move again? I was no fool, I remembered the name Black and what it meant. But that didn't mean I intended to play by their rules.


	9. Family Meeting

PART NINE: Family Meeting

_Edward POV_

The wolf trace led back toward the pack's home territory. I briefly considered following it, but that would only delay the inevitable. If the wolves decided to make trouble, they could be dealt with. But if I created conflict now, Bella would definitely be caught in the middle. My jaw clenched at that thought, and suddenly the idea of putting down a few strays didn't seem like such a bad one.

No. My rash actions had caused enough trouble for one day.

They were together and waiting when I reached home, I could feel it. The garage was still open, my Volvo S60 pulled in next to Emmett's hulking Jeep. I slid my fingertips along the Volvo's smooth side, petting it like a beloved hound before leaving with regrets. The temptation to simply get in and go was fierce, but my pride wouldn't let me.

In the living room, Esme and Alice sat on one of the sofas, Jasper leaning casually on the wall behind them. Rosalie stood at the rear windows, looking out on the twilight. As soon as I stepped into the room, Emmett raised his head, leaving off from brooding contemplation of his wife. "Hey bro," the greeting was subdued, and I could already sense the undercurrent of trouble.

Without a word, Esme rose to her feet and came to me, standing on tiptoe to put her arms around my neck; a declaration of her loyalty, and a gesture of support. I hugged her back, it was all but impossible not to. Whether I presented myself as her brother or her son, Esme was precious, her approval and love a major underpinning of who I chose to be in this life. _'As long as you're happy, I will support you.'_ I hugged her a little more tightly for that.

Alice was neutral but concerned, Jasper was wary. Not surprisingly, Rosalie was the main source of tension, and from her came fury. Emmett's conflict I could read clearly from his thoughts, he was torn between brother and lover. Catching his eye, I gave him a small, tight smile and nodded toward Rosalie. She was his wife, and his loyalty belonged with her. I wasn't going to cause him trouble with his marriage.

"Busy day, Edward?" Rosalie asked without turning around.

"Busy enough." I looked at Alice, who lifted her chin and looked back with a touch of defiance. '_They had a right to know. Your actions affect all of us.' _"I agree," I murmured.

"You'll bring them all down on our heads," Rosalie snarled, finally turning to look at me.

"Would you have let her die?" There was too much heat in the question, I knew it as soon as it left my tongue. I was too invested in this, dangerously so.

"Yes." Jasper answered before Rosalie could. "Letting her die is not the same as killing her. Your interference saved one life and put seven in danger." My hands tightened into fists, but there was nothing I could say to that. He was right.

"Her blood calls to me." As soon as I said it, I felt Emmett's eyes on me. Alice and Esme nodded, they'd known why I left.

"And so you torture yourself by saving her when you could have let it end cleanly." Eyes narrowed, Jasper crossed his arms across his chest. "Or do you plan to let yourself slip?" Oh, he'd like that, wouldn't he? No longer being the liability.

A growl began in the back of my throat and Alice's eyes widened in alarm. "Stop this! Stop it, right now." She was on her feet and between us in an instant, visions of the argument becoming physical foremost in her mind. "You're both idiots. You, stop pushing him," Jasper's tense posture relaxed slightly at the rebuke. "And you," she turned my way, and her thoughts were twice as scathing as her words. "Stop being so defensive."

I snarled once in answer, but let some of the tension go. Fighting with Jasper was hardly a way to make the day better. Pleased, Esme patted my arm, but I noticed her grip on me had tightened considerably. "He's worried, Edward. None of us want to see you hurt."

"It's more than that." As gently as I could, I extricated myself from Esme's hold and paced toward the front of the room and back as they watched. I needed to put this into words, I owed them that much. "I can't explain it. Something about her..." Raking a hand through my hair, I tried my best to screen out their thoughts so I could focus on my own. "The thirst is there, I can't deny it.. but the emotions are so much more complex. I'm obsessed." God, that almost seemed an understatement. "Captivated. When I'm near her I can't look away. Beauty isn't the sum of it, thought she's pretty enough. The attraction is so much deeper than that." I laughed ruefully. "Something in her calls to something in me. And in the end, she steals away all reason. I feel like I'd do anything to protect the way she makes me feel. To protect her." I caught Emmett and Jasper sharing a look before their eyes went to their respective wives. Jasper was skeptical, Emmett was intrigued with a dash of optimism.

"There's one other thing." I stopped, standing in the center of the room. "She's pregnant."

Rosalie hissed, a sharp, unpleasant sound, turning into an icy statue that stared out the window into darkness. As her husband, Emmett understood what she was thinking even better than I did, and I winced at his pain and regret. Of all the many whims he would gladly grant for her, it was her dearest wish that was beyond his power. Sensing his distress, Esme perched on the arm of his chair and slid an arm around him, comforting another of her sons. "Two lives were saved, then." She said to me and nodded, as though this justified my every action.

"Are you going to setup house with her then, Edward?" Rosalie's voice was mocking, but it was hard to feel anything but pity when I could hear the raw pain of her thoughts. "Play along until the thirst becomes too much and kill her?" Then the pain twisted into self-loathing. "Or were you planning to make her one of _us_?"

"Stop it, Rose." Emmett was on his feet and at her side in an instant. "Just let this go," he murmured, pulling her into his arms.

"It's a valid question," I said after a moment. "I can't imagine that she'd want it..." I couldn't imagine anyone asking for this kind of life willingly. I shook my head, firming my resolve. "Absolutely not." Alice was watching me with something akin to sympathy. She thought I was foolish, and she silently told me so. I shook my head again, looked away. Her gift wasn't infallible. As long as I had the freedom to choose, I would avoid the paths she saw.

"So are you in love with this woman, Edward?" Esme's voice was gentle. If only all such interrogations were so loving.

Of course not. How could I be? I barely knew her. She was married! A thousand answers in the negative went through my mind, and not a single one made it to my lips. "I... don't know." Alice arched an eyebrow at me, and I pointedly refused to meet her gaze.

Sighing with impatience at my obstinance, Alice moved on. "There's still the matter of the security cameras at the store. We'll need to do something about that."

"Shouldn't be hard," Jasper replied quickly. "We can do it tonight." They shared a smile. Breaking and entering, only in my family would that be cause for romance.

"I don't think there'll be any other challenges," I said quietly. Publicly saving a woman from a delivery truck had been my most ostentatious gesture for the day.

"Until the next one." Alice's tone was tart, but she smiled at me. A moment passed and a furrow appeared between her golden eyes. "Be careful of her father... I have a feeling you didn't make a friend there."

"No." That was something of a misstep on my part, actually. I would have to see what I could do as far as damage control. "There's something else." I waited until all their eyes were on me. "The wolves are back." Emmett grinned, Jasper became thoughtful and the women had mixed feelings on the subject. "I encountered one briefly in the woods earlier. He didn't engage me, but he was obviously making it clear that we're being watched."

"We'll make Carlisle aware when he gets home," Esme said quietly. "The terms of our treaty with them will need to be reviewed."

"I wonder where they've been up until now." Jasper looked at me. "You'll have to tell me what you remember. Should it come down to a fight, we'll want to be prepared."

Alice frowned at him. "Are you planning to violate the treaty?"

"I'm always looking to be prepared, darlin'. It comes from being around you all these years."

"Tch, nonsense, you make such a fuss about everything" They were flirting, even if I hadn't been privy to Alice's thoughts, I could see it in the way her lips twitched, her body canted toward Jasper. I watched closely, fascinated, truly seeing that interaction for the first time in ages. It had been so hard not to envy them at first, the way Alice melted Jasper's reserve, how his quiet humor made her eyes dance. Being the lone man in a house full of happy couples had been painful at times. But at some point, I'd made my peace with it, or so I told myself. Yet the thoughts I was having now, the fierce anticipation, the longing to be somewhere else, were anything but peaceful.

_'I think he may finally be in love_.' Startled, I turned to find Esme's eyes on me again. They were soft and loving, absolutely accepting of whatever steps I had to take to be happy. '_Yes, my darling. I see you watching them. Follow your heart. Forever is a very long time to be alone.'_

Longer than I wanted to contemplate. I think I had fancied myself capable of a monastic existence of scholarly pursuits, living for knowledge, for art and science and whatever else held my attention. I'd been wrong. I wanted her, I wanted _us_ so badly that I could taste it.

Love was a word I'd never dared consider for myself... until now. Niceties like morals seemed inconsequential by comparison.


	10. Home Sweet Home

PART TEN: Home Sweet Home

_Bella POV_

The landscape moved past the cruiser window, endless, claustrophobic green stretching up to smothering grey clouds. I gazed out the window in silence, not truly seeing any of it. This morning we'd barely spoken at all, no more than a few clipped words over breakfast. His breakfast anyway, I still couldn't stand the sight of food before 10am. You see, we'd fought last night, Charlie and me, after he _insisted_ that I go home with him from the hospital. I'd been careless, he said, and then he accused me of getting pregnant on purpose.

Yeah dad, I poked holes in the damned condom. You caught me. I purposefully got pregnant while my husband is on the other side of the world and I don't have any support besides _you_ and a man in a wheelchair. The accusation was so ridiculous that I hadn't immediately been able to answer. All I could do was stare at him in complete disbelief, wondering if this wasn't some sort of freakish nightmare.The anger was still alive inside of me, and I clenched my teeth, my hand curling into a fist around the door handle. He was my father, he wasn't supposed to do this to me. Not when I needed him. Not when I already felt so alone.

That thought rained down salt on my tender wounds, and I was overwhelmed by memory so intensely that it took my breath away. I could smell cinnamon and sandalwood, and hear the words that brought stillness to chaos. _'You're not alone.' _He'd said them softly in that dark velvet voice, and I believed him. I'd believed his lies. But when I woke up in the hospital, he was gone. His touch, his smell, every trace of his existence wiped away as if he'd never been. I _was_ alone, and I couldn't afford to grieve for that fact any longer.

I closed my eyes, listening to the change in cadence of the cruiser's tires as it went from the smooth highways to the rougher roads of the reservation. With my thumb, I restlessly turned my wedding band, wondering if I'd have an email from Jake when I got home. Maybe, maybe not. If it was there, how could I reply to it? 'Hi honey, was nearly killed in an accident. Me and the baby are fine. Mentally cheated on you with a figment of my imagination. Love, your psychotically depressed, pregnant wife.'

Taking a deep breath, I looked out the window again, watching the small house that had become the center of my world come into view. I wouldn't tell him about Edward Cullen, I already knew that. Just like I wouldn't tell him how desperately I wanted to see Edward again. There was a weakness inside of me that craved that gentle, intimate contact, that wanted to see again the look on his face when we'd watched the ultrasound together. My hand rested on my stomach, and I reminded myself that this baby was Jake's. That was how it was supposed to be. Jake was my husband, the man I was waiting for. Edward was an afternoon's daydream. A dangerous one.

"The truck is still at the impound lot. That's where they took it after the accident." Charlie was talking, and I halfway listened. "I'll have one of the deputies bring it by later."

"That's fine." There was no reason to take it for repairs. The only damage had been minor and cosmetic. I doubted it was even noticeable, although _I _would always know it was there. As we pulled in, I sat up a little straighter, there was a strange car in front of my house. I glanced at Charlie, but he suddenly seemed interested in looking everywhere but at me. Something was up. "I wonder whose car that is?"

"No idea." Charlie shook his head. He was lying to me, I knew him too well and he did it badly.

"Hm." I opened the door and slid out, feeling for the keys in my pocket. I had a bad feeling I wouldn't need them, that whomever was visiting had already let themselves in. That thought unnerved me. Suddenly my little house didn't seem so cozy anymore.

My suspicions were confirmed when the knob turned easily, the door swinging open beneath my touch. With Charlie behind me, I stepped into my living room. My father-in-law sat next to the couch in his wheelchair, his dark eyes watching me intently. On the couch beside him was Leah Uley. She looked like a frightened rabbit, pulled tightly in on herself, downcast eyes on my living room rug. But most disturbing of all was the figure that lurked behind the couch. He was huge, built like a bodybuilder with muscles that bulged beneath his shirt and arms like tree trunks. If I hadn't known him well, I would never have recognized Leah's husband, Sam. I was shocked, I had no other word for it. It couldn't have been more than a few weeks since I'd last seen him, but he had changed drastically since then. Sure, Sam was still young, but he was older than I was, and I would have thought him past any major growth spurts. This was insane.

"Hello Bella, Charlie." My eyes went back to Billy as he spoke, and I blinked as though unused to looking at normal-sized people. "I'm sure you're wondering why we're here, Bella. Charlie and Leah shared the good news you told them. So of course we want to congratulate you."

I tensed, I wasn't ready for the entire reservation to know I was pregnant, but apparently we had a good start going. "Thank you," I said quietly. "Jake already knows, of course. I told him last week." So don't get any weird ideas there.

"That's good." Billy nodded. "I'm sure he wants to be here with you."

"I wish he could be," I said quietly.

"In part, that's also why we're here." Billy looked up at Sam, who simply nodded. "Since Jacob can't be here right now, we feel like it's important to make sure that you're safe and well cared for on his behalf. Sam and Leah have offered to let you stay with them while you're pregnant. I think that's a real good idea."

I just stood there with my mouth hanging open. I'm not sure exactly for how long, rebooting your brain after it locks up takes a minute. _A real good idea._ In what bizarro universe? "I see," I managed to say finally. "And you've talked to Jake about this?" I knew he hadn't. Jake didn't talk to his dad on the phone more than about once a month.

"Not yet. But I'm sure Jacob will want what's best for you."

I was sure of that, too. I just had a hard time believing that moving in with a couple that was obviously having problems was 'best' by any definition. That didn't even take into account that this was my home, my space, and while I would confess to feeling lonely, moving in with another family wasn't at the top of my list. "You knew about this," I snarled, turning to look at Charlie. At least he had the decency to look sheepish.

"I... don't think it's that bad of an idea, Bells." He struggled underneath my baleful glare. "Unless you'd rather move back in with me?" That sounded almost hopeful.

"No." Sam spoke for the first time, his voice deep and commanding. "That won't work. She has to stay in La Push."

Charlie frowned like he wanted to protest, but I beat him to the punch. "Since when did any of you gain the right to tell me what to do? I'm a twenty year-old married woman, I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions."

"Now Bella, this baby is going to be a Quileute, they need to stay on the reservation." Billy spoke as though that were the most reasonable thing in the world.

"Half Quileute," I snapped. "Half me. And no more bound to this place than I am."

"You have no idea what you're talking about," Sam said darkly, and I swear it looked like he was trembling.

"There's something else, Bella." Billy glanced up at Sam, a worried look in his eyes. "We understand you haven't been seeing the doctors here in La Push."

"That's none of your business." Okay, this was going way, way too far. Not only were they presuming to tell me where I should live, now they were sticking their noses into my medical history? "I trust Dr. Cullen, I see no reason to change to a stranger now."

"Cullen?" Sam's nostrils flared, and his shaking became more pronounced. "You've been seeing that--" He broke off abruptly, turning away.

"This is more serious than we imagined," Billy said gravely.

"You're right," I agreed. "It is." I'd had enough of this. "I want all of you out of my house. Right now."

"Bella-"

"Now." I turned to Charlie, my eyes cold. "Chief Swan, these people entered my home without my permission. I have requested that they leave and I don't see any of them moving."

Charlie blinked, startled to have his official title invoked by his daughter. Well, get used to it, Barney Fife. "She's right," he said reluctantly. "Under those terms, I have no choice but to enforce her request."

"That won't be necessary." Billy shook his head. "We'll leave. But I would urge you to think about what we've said, Bella."

"Please leave." I stepped aside, leaving him room to get out the front door. Sam moved to help Billy, and I could feel his eyes on me but I refused to meet them. That only left Leah.

Unexpectedly, she came to me and pulled me into a hug, a tremor going through her as the startled moment passed and I hugged her back. "I'm sorry," she whispered in my ear. "But I think you're doing the right thing." Pulling back, I could see that her eyes were full of unshed tears. "Don't let them control you, Bella. They'll try if you let them. Sam..." She shook her head. "He isn't the man I married anymore."

"Leah!"

"I'm coming!" She hugged me again. "I've got to go. Take care." With those last, whispered words, she was gone. I stared after her as I watched the car pull away through the open door, unable to make any sense of the puzzle that had just been dumped in my lap.

"Happy now, Bella?" I was totally not in the mood for Charlie to get pissy.

"Yes. Very." I turned and gave him an icy look. "Now you can follow them." He opened his mouth, but I just raised a hand, stopping him cold. "I don't want to hear it right now, Charlie." He frowned, he didn't like it when I used his first name. Tough. "Maybe in a few days when I'm a little less furious with you. For now, I just want you out of my house." I waved towards the door. "Go."

"Well, if that's the way you feel about it..."

"That's exactly how I feel about it." I folded my arms, waiting. Looking at me like he couldn't quite believe it, Charlie left, and I closed the door firmly behind him.

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, someone was always out to prove you wrong. Slumping down on the couch, I put my head in my hands and tried to figure out just what I was supposed to do now.


	11. Prison Break

PART ELEVEN: Prison Break

_Bella POV_

Three days had gone by, and still no sign of my truck. I hadn't called Charlie about it yet, because frankly I didn't want to talk to him. Initially I just didn't trust myself, now I was beginning to think calling and bitching him out was a good idea. Whether or not he'd been completely in agreement with Billy, he still had a hand in the stunt from the other day. I didn't like being at the mercy of other people, having to wait until they remembered in order to accomplish things I needed to do. That he'd reduced me to that had me seething, and that wasn't a good place to be.

I stared out the front window a little longer, then stared at my phone. I dialed Charlie's number twice, cleared it, and then paced over to stare at the computer. I'd had an email from Jake yesterday. Very brief and basic, letting me know he was okay but that they were in a danger zone. He missed me, wanted to talk to me, but cell service in the area was questionable at best. Love to me and the baby, over and out. I needed more than that. I needed my husband. I needed his reassurance and his strength. I needed him to tell his father to stay the hell out of my life. I needed to hear his voice, and sketchy cell service wasn't going to stop me.

It had taken three rounds of 'the person you have dialed is out of the service area' message before I gave up. So I was forced to reply to the email... and instead of what I needed to say, I edited. Be careful, I miss you, I love you. Nothing deeper, nothing to upset or distract him while he evaded enemy fire. No desperate pleas for him to come home or talk to his father. I couldn't be selfish that way when he was putting his life on the line. It made my problems seem small.

Sighing, I sat down at the table to compile a grocery list and impulsively grabbed the small calendar from my purse. I flipped back a few pages, then forward to June, silently counting. Three months. According to the math that I'd done with Dr. Cullen, I was now officially three months along. Second trimester, here we come? I wasn't sure what I was supposed to feel about it, accomplished maybe? The casserole in the oven isn't done yet, but it hasn't burned? Yay? Frowning, I read the little notation under tomorrow's date, a scheduled appointment with Dr. Cullen. Friday the 13th, appropriate. I'd definitely need to do something about the truck. Dammit Charlie, don't do this to me.

I got up and paced to the window again, willing the truck to be there. Of course it wasn't. With a disgusted growl, I snatched the phone up from the couch and dialed the number for the station. A receptionist answered, and I cut in as soon as she breathed. "Yes hi, this is Bella Black, I need to talk to Chief Swan." I was treated to some canned muzak as she directed my call, and then Charlie warily answered. Yeah, you'd better be wary, old man. "Hi dad, it's Bella."

"Hey Bells, what can I do for you?"

I sat back against the couch cushions, eyes narrowed. There were so many ways to take advantage of that opening. "I was just wondering where my truck wandered off to." A pause, one which he didn't seem to be in any hurry to fill. "It hasn't made it home yet." He still didn't seem to be in any hurry to answer. That's okay, I was willing to be patient.

Just as I expected, he broke long before I would have. "Well, it's at my house, Bella."

"I see." No, I really didn't. "What's it doing over there, dad?"

"Billy and I talked about it, and we think maybe you're not making the best decisions right now, honey. It's not a perm--"

I cut him off. "Thanks Charlie, that's pretty much all I needed to know." I pressed the button on the portable phone, set it down on the couch and proceeded to beat it to death with a decorative throw pillow. "Who the hell do they think they are?!" Getting to my feet, I lobbed the pillow across the room, knocking a glass off of the end table. Then I collapsed back onto the couch again, buried both hands in my hair and tried to figure out what I was supposed to do from here.

My father and father-in-law were holding me hostage. It sounded so ridiculous that I wouldn't dare say it out loud. Who would you call about that? The police? Well, that did you a bloody lot of good when your father was the police chief.

Fine, if they wanted to take my car away, I'd just walk. So what if I was pregnant, a little exercise wouldn't hurt a pregnant woman, right? I put my shoes on, stuck my wallet and my cellphone in my pockets and headed out the front door. My first thought was to just get off the damned reservation. Once I did that, I'd hitchhike if I had to. Get them to take me to the police station, or maybe to Charlie's house so I could get the damned truck myself. As long as I followed 110, I'd get to Forks eventually.

Decision made, I started walking down River Drive in the direction of Highway 110. Almost immediately, I got that odd prickly feeling at the back of my neck that said I was being watched. Shoving my hands into my jacket pockets, I walked faster, trying to shake it off. Instead of getting better, the feeling got worse. I put my head down and tried to ignore it, which is why I nearly ran into the obstacle that was determined to be in my path.

"Where ya going, Bella?"

Startled, I looked up, way up, into a face I barely recognized. The similarities to Sam Uley were immediately obvious, but I knew it wasn't Sam. "Why do you want to know, Jared?" What the hell? Were they doing steroids or something?

"Can I help you with something?" He wasn't going to answer my question, apparently. Great.

"No, just taking a walk." I tried to duck around him, but he was fast. A lot faster than someone that size should be.

"Okay," he said easily. "Where are we walking to?"

"_We_ are not walking anywhere. _I_ am going wherever I damned well please." I'd had enough of this crap. Since when did all these stupid men think they had the right to boss me around? I stepped to the other side, prepared to pass him.

"Sorry Bella, but I can't let you do that." He was in front of me again. I hadn't even seen him move that time.

Gritting my teeth, I glared up at him. "Alright, I'll bite. _Why_ can't you let me do that?"

He shook his head. "Just following orders."

"Whose orders?"

Apparently he wasn't going to answer that question, either. Beautiful. I looked around, trying to come up with an alternate route. Maybe if I backtracked and went off the road? "Go home, Bella. It'll be better for everyone if you just do what we ask."

"What makes you think you have _any_ idea what's better for me?" I was ready to rip his head off. Now if he'd just lean down for me... maybe step over to a convenient tree trunk or something? Stupid tall bodybuilding man.

"I know you're carrying Jacob Black's baby, and nothing else beyond that matters. As long as we perceive that there's a threat, we'll do whatever we have to in order to protect you." He shrugged.

Instinctively, I rested a shielding hand on my stomach. I knew he didn't mean my baby any harm, quite the opposite I'm sure, but something about the way he talked about it raised every protective instinct I had. Without another word, I spun on my heel and headed back to the house. I couldn't quite make sense of what he'd said. A threat? What did he mean? What kind of threat? Why wouldn't anyone give me a straight answer?

As soon as I got back inside, I tried to call Jake again. My only hope was that he had the answer to this mystery, that somehow he could make sense of this and force them to let me go. Just like before, all I got was the irritating message stating that my husband was somewhere I couldn't reach him. Taking an unsteady breath, I carefully set the phone aside before I threw it, then went into the kitchen to make tea. I needed something to distract me before I exploded.

Of course, I'm a stubborn soul. I wasn't about to just do what they said. Twice more that day I tried to escape on foot. The first time I ran into Jared again, with similar results. The second time I encountered the third member of the La Push Bodybuilder and Bouncer Society. I knew the face, he'd been at my wedding, and I think his name was Paul. I'm not completely sure about that, however. Unlike Jared, he made no attempt to be nice. Basically he just blocked my way, glared and snarled until I retreated like a good girl.

That night was a restless one. I tried to sleep in the bed for a little while, but apparently morning sickness decided it should arrive early. When I finally felt like I was done throwing up, I went to sit by the window, looking out on the moonlit darkness. I wondered where Jake was, if he was safe, or if he were somewhere alone and afraid, questioning what his next decision should be, just like I was... Somehow that didn't seem likely. I sighed and rested my cheek against the cool glass, longing for his touch, for a word of comfort... and in that unguarded moment, again I was enveloped in the memory of cinnamon and sandalwood, of cool touches and velvet-soft words. God, what was this insanity? Why couldn't I get him out of my mind? I wanted to say it was loneliness, that I was searching for something to hold onto, something real. But I was tired of fighting, so I just closed my eyes and allowed my renegade heart to think of Edward.

At some point I must have drifted, falling asleep where I leaned against the window. I know this because I dreamed of giant wolves outside in the dark, howling at the nearly full moon.

The next morning I bathed and dressed, getting myself ready for my appointment at 9am. At 8-o'clock I marched outside and started walking along the road, waiting for one of my prison guards to make an appearance. Shortly thereafter, Jared stepped into my path, looking down at me with quiet amusement. "Good morning, Bella. Back for round three?"

"Four, I met up with Paul yesterday."

Jared snorted. "Paul doesn't count. He's terrible company."

"Whatever. I'll let you guys sort that out amongst yourselves." I rolled my eyes. "I have a doctor's appointment this morning, Jared. I'm sure you guys aren't going to try and protect me from my _doctor_, right?"

"If you mean the- I mean, Dr. Cullen, then yeah, I'm afraid we are." He crossed his arms and I was seized with the really mature desire to kick him in the shins. "If you want to make an appointment with the tribal clinic, one of us will be glad to escort you over there."

"This is ridiculous. I don't understand why you idiots are _doing_ this!" I wanted to scream, I felt like a caged animal with nowhere to go but back inside my den.

He sighed, and I for just a moment I saw a flash of pity in his eyes. "I know you don't get it right now, but trust me, we've got our reasons."

"How am I supposed to trust you when you won't _tell_ me anything?" Tears of anger and frustration welled up in my eyes, which made me even angrier. I actually think the tears made him panic a little. His voice got softer and he peered down into my face.

"I know... I'll talk to Sam and Billy, see what I can do, okay?" He hesitated, then shook his head. "Just go back inside for now, Bella. Please?" I didn't answer, I just turned around and went back to the house.

They definitely had me trapped, no doubt about it. My every movement was monitored and closely guarded. It just didn't make sense. What were they guarding me from? Myself?

I spent the day restlessly roaming my small house, cleaning things that didn't need to be cleaned, organizing and reorganizing. There were no emails from Jake, and I still couldn't get a call through to him. I spent some time on the computer, looking up random information and realizing that I didn't feel like any of the information for 'expectant mothers' felt like it fit me or my situation. Maybe that would change. I honestly didn't know.

It was late afternoon when I finally hatched my little plan. Born of desperation, I knew it wasn't all that well thought-out, but I didn't care. I wanted out of this house and off the reservation. No matter what.

I waited until it was completely dark, going through my normal routine so that from the outside nothing would seem amiss. Dressed completely in dark colors, I traveled light, bringing nothing but the basic essentials with me as I slipped out the back door. As quickly and quietly as I could, I headed away from the house and the road beyond it. Unlike Billy's house, ours backed up to the trees that were the encroaching edge of Olympic National Park. If I went into the park, maybe they wouldn't follow me. There was a ranger station up on Mora Road. If I could make it that far, I could get help.

At first I thought I'd done it. The further I made it into the moonlit forest, the stronger my sense of accomplishment. In retrospect, that was nothing but sweet ignorance. I never even knew I was being pursued until they were on top of me.

A huge, furry body hit me like a freight train. I'd just reached the top of a steep hill, and the downhill slope dropped into a stream. I shrieked and fell, tumbling down the hillside, instinctively curling around myself to protect the baby. Stunned, I came to rest at the edge of the stream, my body aching like one giant bruise. Distantly I heard snarling, and I looked up in a daze to see three shapes at the top of the hill, staring down at me. They were the size of bears, but bears didn't move like that.

I struggled to my feet and splashed across the shallow stream as I fought to stay upright. My left arm was throbbing, and I was sure I'd hit my head on the way down. I didn't feel anything like cramping, so I could only assume the baby was alright for now. I just didn't know what the hell I was going to do about the giant predators poised to chase after me.

On top of everything, my stupid cellphone chose that moment to assure me it survived. Leaning against a tree, I wrenched it out of my jacket pocket and prepared to silence it, but I froze as soon as I saw the name on the display. Edward Cullen. How had Edward Cullen's phone number gotten programmed into my phone? That was the only way the name would show up, it had to be in the memory. More importantly... why was he calling me?

With shaking hands, I flipped the phone open and brought it to my ear. "Hello?"

"Bella!" My eyes closed at the sound of his voice. "Bella, are you there?" He sounded desperate, almost frantic.

"I'm here, Edward."

"Thank God." The warm relief in his tone was like a painkiller, taking the edge off my hurts. "You're in the woods." It wasn't a question. "I need you to keep moving, Bella. Keep going the same direction you were before. You've got to cross the line. Do you understand?"

"I-" A wolf's howl carried through the trees, it made my blood run cold. "The wolves! They're chasing me! God, Edward, they're right behind me!" I had a death grip on the phone as I lurched forward again. Go the same way, he said to go the same way.

"I know." His voice was distorted, as though he spoke through clenched teeth. "I can hear them." He said something away from the phone that I couldn't hear, and then came back. "Run Bella, please! You have to get to the line!"

To the best of my ability I responded to that lifeline, ignoring the twinges of pain as I fled through the trees and underbrush. But it was impossible to outrun these wolves on foot, again one sent me sprawling, and this time he grabbed my jacket in his jaws. "Edward!" The wolf savagely shook me and I screamed.

"BELLA!" I imagined that I heard his shout, as though he were somewhere nearby. "Bella, ANSWER ME!"

I'd never been so terrified before in my life, hanging like a ragdoll from the mouth of a giant wolf. Desperately I kicked and struggled, my feet finding purchase on the rocky ground. Before the monster could jerk his head up, I shrugged out of my jacket and started running again, hanging onto the phone for dear life. "Help me, please!"

"It's only a little further, you can make it." He was pleading with me, but the words didn't make sense. "I'm right here. You're so close." All I could do was keep moving, following the sound of his voice.

The snarling was on top of me, but instead of making contact, one came up on either side of me and then abruptly charged into my path. I dodged aside, and just avoided the snap of huge teeth. They did it again, and suddenly I put together what they were doing... herding me. They were trying to turn me the other way, to drive me back toward La Push. I moved to go around them the third time, and one slammed his shoulder into me. I fell, and the phone skidded away. "Edward!"

"Bella!" I wasn't imagining things. I could hear him. I lifted my head and there, in the moonlight, I could _see_ him. Scrabbling at the ground, my injured arm screamed with pain, but I didn't care. Edward was there, he was waiting for me, and a little pain was _not_ going to keep me from him.

A wolf leaped in front of me and blocked my view, and I shrieked in fury. Grabbing a rock as big around as my fist, I lobbed it at him. He danced easily out of the way, but hitting him hadn't really been the point. There was an opening now, I could see it. Gathering the last of my strength, I went for it. So short a distance, and it took forever to cross it, time counting out in heartbeats as I ran. One of the wolves snarled and took a final swipe at me... but it was too late, I was already there.

Edward's arms closed around me, the blow glancing harmlessly off his shoulder as he shielded me with his body. Without a word, he gathered me up and retreated, several dark shapes surging forward to form a protective ring around us. "It's alright," he whispered against my hair. "I've got you, you're safe now. Those dogs will never touch you again." I felt his lips brush my forehead and then my cheek, his arms tightening convulsively around me. "Carlisle!" He turned his head. "I need your help, she's bleeding."

I heard what sounded like fighting, but it was so hard to focus right now. Edward knelt on the ground but didn't let go of me, allowing one of the dark shapes to break off from those shielding us and approach. "Dr. Cullen..."

"Hello Bella." The doctor's voice was warm as he greeted me. "Are you alright, Edward?" The question seemed casual as he ran his hands over me, checking for injuries. "I can take her if you need me to."

"No." There was a faint note of strain in his voice, but he shook his head. "It's not easy, but I'll manage. None of her wounds are bad."

That didn't quite make sense, but I let it go, it felt good just to lie quietly in his arms, listening to the sound of his voice. In fact, the longer I stayed there, the further I drifted, until everything but his scent and his touch became the dream, and then it all faded into darkness and I knew no more.


	12. Safe Harbor

PART TWELVE: Safe Harbor

_Edward POV_

From the moment she failed to appear for her appointment with Carlisle, I knew something was wrong. My mind attempted to find a rational explanation, going over all the many reasons that a person might miss a doctor's appointment; simple excuses, harmless delays. None of them satisfied me. I looked for a better explanation, but there was nothing to be found. Nothing but dead air where Bella Black should be.

Long hours dragged by with no answers forthcoming, and with every passing moment the tension pulled a bit tighter. She was on the reservation, off-limits to me by the terms of our treaty with the Quileute. That left no options for quietly verifying her whereabouts. The reservation might as well be another world for as little as I knew of what went on within its borders. So I paced the hallways of our home, aware of my family members only as obstacles to steer around as I sank deeper into my obsession.

What if she'd been hurt? Bella had a particular talent for finding trouble, and no sense of self-preservation. The endless possibilities were daunting to consider. If she were injured, ill, even dying, I'd have no way of knowing. She could be suffering even now, in pain, her life slipping away with no comforting touch, no urgent voice begging her to cling to this world. The temptation to turn on my heel then and make straight for forbidden territory was so strong that I clenched my fists and trembled with the effort to keep still.

This... was ridiculous. I no longer had control over my own destiny. My world moved to the rhythm of her heartbeat. Even miles distant, with it extant only in my memory, I was helpless to do more than dance to that inexorable pulse. I was the lodestone and she my magnetic north, and her pull was getting harder and harder to fight.

'_You're wearing a stripe into Esme's favorite rug.' _Carlisle never looked up from his book, but the thought arrowed my way with the precision of long-practice. His tone was mild, but I could sense disapproval behind it. I cringed away from it, fierce hate turned inward. We'd been on delicate terms, my adopted father and I, ever since that day in the hospital. The reasons were complex, the motivations even more so. Like Esme, Carlisle wanted badly for me to find some happiness of my own. Unlike his wife, he was a doctor, and concern for his patient was foremost. He trusted me, but he did not trust our nature. Despite his own incredible strength of will, his fear was that the call of Bella's blood would eventually overwhelm me. Of course, he was absolutely right in that fear. I was not my father, I had only a fraction of his goodness, his strength, and I was far more selfish than he could ever dream of being. My weakness, my unnatural fascination with a married woman, had already brought unwanted attention to us, what further damage could it cause before it had run its course?

"I can't help it," I murmured. "Better to pace than to do something rash."

_'I too am concerned. She is young and her husband is far away. In that light, the news that the wolves are stirring is very disturbing.' _His voice didn't change on the word 'husband', it didn't have to. I was far too willing to cringe at the very mention of it. The star I sought to orbit wore the ring of another man on her marriage finger. That was a fact I couldn't deny. The question was what I intended to do about it.

If I were damned already, wasn't adultery just a small crime by comparison? Could I so easily twist the truth to fit my ugly whims?

Any reply I might have made was forgotten as I felt Alice's anxious thoughts approaching just before she burst through the door. "Edward!" Before she had even drawn breath to say more, I was immersed in her vision, running through the details over and over until I was sure.

"The boundary line," I breathed.

"Tonight, after moonrise." Excitement coursed through her as she brought me ever closer to damnation. "All of us."

#

Twilight had just given way to true dark when we gathered in the trees at the reservation boundary line. We'd come in from the Northeast, through the park, and left the cars up on Mora Road. Not the usual approach to La Push, but Alice and I both felt strongly that we were in the right place. I didn't know what was going to happen, but I knew with absolute certainty that I would see Bella tonight.

"We have time." Alice stood at my side, her voice soft. "In my vision the moon was higher."

I nodded in acknowledgment, but my entire being was stretched beyond the knife's edge of the boundary. Listening with every sense I possessed for indication of what we were waiting for, seeking even a tiny trace of Bella. So far the only thing unusual was that the forest stank of wolves. I wrinkled my nose and looked down at Alice. "They're definitely unique creatures. Real wolves smell so much more pleasant."

She laughed. "Perhaps it's a defense mechanism?" Her nose wrinkled to match mine. "An effective one."

I shook my head and my eyes moved to each of my family in turn. Carlisle and Esme were talking softly a short distance away. Emmett stalked up and down the treaty line, impatiently watching the darkness for wolves to emerge; Rosalie watched him almost as intently, her thoughts brooding. I could hear Jasper's mind, but not see him. He was scouting the area, keeping a secure perimeter around us, as though we could possibly miss that the dogs were coming with that smell.

The momentary distraction didn't last, and my thoughts slipped away again as the time dragged by. My mind moved restlessly over all the many reasons that might bring Bella into the woods at night. None of them good. Not for the first time, I slid my hand into my pocket, touching the cellphone there. I'd checked the signal as soon as we arrived. It was faint, but there. Hidden away in the memory was my trump card. I could only hope that, no matter what, she had hers with her. That number, that faint signal, was the only lifeline we had.

That would have to be enough. It _would_ be. I refused to acknowledge the dark fear coiling tighter and tighter inside my chest. A whispered voice inside my head taunted me with thoughts of watching her die, just out reach. That was the voice I fought, the one that kept me a hair's breadth from forgetting the treaty and every word of promise we'd ever spoken to the dogs. All it would take was a few steps and it would be done. I'd be free to act, to find her instead of standing around and waiting for a vague and cryptic future. I didn't realize I was growling until Alice rested a hand on my arm, her expression worried.

It took a long moment, looking down at her, to come back to myself. The monster was pacing in its cage, peering out through the bars with rising anticipation, it sensed that my resistance had begun to weaken. I shuddered and pushed back, if I tasted blood tonight it would be wolf's blood. That was the only option I would allow.

Alice stiffened at my side, a tremor going through her as she gasped. The vision was over in an instant, and she clutched at my arm. Immediately what she had seen filled my mind, what little there was of it. There were only tiny flashes, like trying to tune in a television station that was just out of range. Hints of a picture, tantalizing suggestions of a frame, but mostly static. "Bella." My sister's voice was faint. "She's in the woods." A thousand questions demanded that I ask them all at once. How could we be sure? The vision was barely a vision at all... And yet I couldn't afford to let it go. I stepped away from Alice and went right to the line, pulling out my cellphone.

For a long moment, I stared at it, my thumb rubbing over the front display. Then in one quick motion, I flicked it open and held down a button, bringing the phone to my ear. The sound was faint and tinny, but the call went through. It rang once. As one, the dark shapes of my family turned toward the southwest, our sensitive ears attuned to a woman's scream. Twice. There was crashing, the sound of struggle. A third ring. I was a heartbeat away from throwing the phone away and racing across the woods like an avenging seraph.

"Hello?"

"Bella!" The incredible relief of hearing her voice was outweighed by the pain and fear in it. She didn't immediately answer me, and my anxiety jumped off the scale. "Bella, are you there?"

"I'm here, Edward."

"Thank God." Two words couldn't hold what I felt, nor contain my thankfulness. One God didn't seem sufficient to sing my praises to that she was alive if not well. "You're in the woods." Information I already had. "I need you to keep moving, Bella." My finely tuned ear strained to hear the sounds of her passage through the forest. "Keep going the same direction you were before." I could hear that she was staggering. Was it fatigue or was she hurt? Where? How badly? "You've got the cross the line." You have to come to me, or I will come to you... regardless of the cost. "Do you understand?"

"I-" The sound I heard then made me go absolutely still, fury raging through me like an inferno. I heard Alice's voice calling Jasper's name, and if they had been even a fraction later in throwing their arms around me, I would have been gone. "The wolves! They're chasing me!" I listened in silence, because I could not speak. "God, Edward! They're right behind me!" My eyes closed as she spoke my name, and I flexed my shoulders, feeling Jasper clamp down as I tested his grip.

"I know." My jaw ached, I had clenched my teeth so tightly together. "I can _hear_ them." I soothed my jaw with promises of how it would rip out the throats of the wolves who dared to pursue her. My heart rejoiced as I imagined bathing in the blood that fountained from the ruins of a dog's jugular vein. Not a drop would I drink, like spoiled wine I would spill it all on the ground, unfit for anything but the scavengers. "Let me go," my voice was a velvet croon as I turned to look down at my sister with eyes devoid of humanity. "The dogs have gone too far, Alice." Her name was a dark song. "I will end this."

"Edward..." I'd never seen quite that emotion in her eyes before when she looked at me. Alice, my beloved adopted sister, was afraid.

_'You will not do this, Edward Cullen.' _The thought hit me harder than a physical blow. Reeling, my head swung toward Carlisle, and the look on his face brought me back to myself as nothing else could have. _'If you break the treaty, they will use it as an excuse to start a war. We have the greater numbers, Edward. But which member of your family would you choose as an acceptable loss?' _He knew the answer as well as I did. For a long moment, I simply stared at him, no words, no thoughts in my possession that could sufficiently beg for his forgiveness. Of course it wasn't necessary, I had it without asking, but I felt no more worthy of it.

Numb, I brought the phone back to my ear. "Run Bella... please! You have to get to the line!" Because I can't help you until you do.

She didn't answer, I could only hear her fall, followed by the angry snarls of a wolf. And then she screamed. "BELLA!" Emmett lunged for me, and he barely stopped me from breaking away from Alice and Jasper. She was still screaming, and I fought for my freedom like a wild thing. "Bella, ANSWER ME!"

The screaming stopped, and suddenly I could hear her labored breathing. She was running, and every step brought her closer. She was so close, and still I couldn't save her from the wolves "Help me, please!" There were tears in her voice. In agony, I turned to look at Alice. But she already knew my pain. She knew, she grieved for me, but it changed nothing.

"It's only a little further, you can make it," my eyes remained locked with Alice's. "I'm right here," I was begging now, pleading. "You're so close."

I could hear their thoughts now, the wolves; they spoke to one another with their minds. Their youth and inexperience was obvious, the Alpha barely kept a hold of the newest of the trio. In another situation I might have pitied him, his thoughts were frantic. The smell of seven vampires had nearly driven all three mad with anger and fear. They desperately wanted to keep Bella safe, but they kept working at cross-purposes. The new one, Paul, was completely out of control. The others chased him off and set after Bella again, trying to steer her back toward the heart of the reservation, away from _us_, without the brutal physical contact that their brother had employed.

I might have thanked them for it... had I not wanted to personally show them a slow and merciless death.

They came into view, a tiny human woman and the two giant dogs that tried to contain her. Bella was running blindly, still clutching her cellphone like it was a lifeline. She struggled to keep her course straight, bringing herself closer to us with every step, but as she swerved to avoid one of the dogs, he rammed his shoulder into her. Bella fell, crying out in pain and fear, and as the cellphone skidded out of her grasp, she screamed my name.

"Bella!" I fought with renewed strength, trying to force my way free from the imprisoning arms of my siblings. Their thoughts were alternately condemnation of the wolves and attempts to soothe me, but I had stopped caring what they thought. Bella was in my sight, and the only thing keeping me from her was them.

"Wait, just a little longer," Jasper hissed in my ear, he was trying to calm me with his abilities, but I was beyond his reach, a wall of cold rage protecting me from his influence. Emmett was as eager for the fight as I was, but he would not risk his wife, his sister and his mother to the jaws of the wolves were he to push us to war. He was a better man than I, but I don't think I've ever doubted that. He remained focused on the family, I had no thought but for her.

I watched as though a nightmare played out before me. Watched Bella regain her feet, throwing a rock at the monster that tried to block her path. She was gathering her strength for one last fight, I could see it... and I loved her for it. A lesser woman, a lesser soul might have laid down and let the oncoming wolves have her. She was exhausted and terrified, I didn't need to hear her thoughts to know it. But she ran, with the wolves giving chase, including the dangerously wild one. He was with her in an instant, moving far too fast for her to avoid him. She didn't have to.

All at once the arms holding onto me let go of their suffocating grasp. I was free, and Bella put her foot over the boundary line. Swift as thought, I swept her into my arms, turning my back to the attacking wolf at her heels. His blow glanced harmlessly off my stone skin. The fool had blundered his way across the line, and I could sense Emmett's intense satisfaction as he cut the stupid dog off from the rest of his pack.

I couldn't bring myself to care beyond that. Bella was in my arms, safe and whole. I kissed the top of her head, pressed my lips to her forehead and grazed them against her cheek, all the while murmuring words of comfort, of reassurance. She was alright, I was with her, and I would let nothing in the world harm her or the baby she carried. Tightening my arms around her, I turned and called for my father. The scent of her blood was tugging at me, making the monster rattle the bars of its cage again. That needed to be dealt with and quickly.

Carlisle approached us and I knelt, laying Bella down on a bed of moss. He smelled the blood immediately, but was not affected by it. Not like I was. It was torture being this close to her, but I willingly submitted myself to it. "Are you alright, Edward?" I met Carlisle's eyes, but I didn't hide the effect her blood had on me. He arched his eyebrows, and his thoughts urged me to be cautious. "I can take her if you need me to."

My gaze moved back to her face, and I shook my head. "No." I stroked dark hair away from her cheek. "It's not easy, but I'll manage. None of her wounds are bad." As if to prove myself to him, I sat perfectly still as he examined her, not so much as twitching as he revealed and dealt with open cuts and scrapes. I didn't breathe deeply, but that would have been courting disaster. Her eyes had closed, and I could sense from the way her body had gone lax that she was unconscious. That was for the best, particularly if she stayed out until we could get her to someplace safe

The sounds of a conflict kept drawing my eyes toward the others. My four siblings were teaching the wolves what puppies they truly were. The one they called Paul in their thoughts was laying on his side, alive but not glad of that fact; he smelled of blood and shame. Emmett and Jasper toyed with the alpha while Rosalie and Alice bounced the third between them as though they played a spirited tennis match.

"Hold her upright, Edward?" My attention returned to Carlisle, and I did as he asked, supporting Bella's slender body into a sitting position. I knew from his thoughts that her shoulder was dislocated, a fact that made the fury stir anew inside of me. Gritting my teeth, I pressed another kiss to Bella's temple, silently begging her forgiveness for letting this happen. I held her tight as Carlisle deftly repositioned the shoulder joint. He was a master of using just the perfect amount of force when necessary, another gift. "There now," he murmured with satisfaction. "This will pain her for a few days, but she'll prefer it to having broken it."

"What about the baby?" If I listened closely, I could still hear its faint heartbeat, but he knew far better than I did.

"Without having an ultrasound to be sure, she is as stable as I could expect. She needs to rest, and then we'll see what happens." Even in these modern times, so much of the protection and continued health of the pregnancy lay in the hands of the mother's body. My father gently touched her face, then squeezed my hand. "We'll do all we can for her, Edward. But much of it is up to her." Leaving it at that, he stood, looking toward where the others had finally tired of playing with the dogs.

Settling Bella securely in my arms, I rose and followed him. The wolves had banded together, broken and bloody. They snarled, but made no further attempt to attack, all three of them knew it was futile. Good, I hoped they'd enjoyed the lesson. Emmett stood squarely on the boundary, watching them with arms folded, but he informed me smugly in his thoughts that he had retrieved Bella's cellphone. So at some point he had crossed over, not that the wolves had much call to claim treaty breaking at the moment.

Carlisle moved to Emmett's side, regarding the wolves with little in the way of compassion. "Go home, you're done here tonight. The woman has requested safe harbor with us, she will receive it. " The alpha stared at him for a long moment, then rose to his feet. For a moment more, he stood facing Carlisle, and I could tell the dog had no love of admitting defeat. He was also very concerned for Bella's fate, but I still had no sympathy for him. Finally he turned and limped off through the trees, the other two following as quickly as their battered bodies permitted.

Sighing softly, Carlisle turned back to the rest of us, looking at each in turn. "Well, dear ones, I think we've had enough excitement for one evening." He slid an arm around my mother's waist, pulling her close. "Let's go home."


	13. The Lion's Den

PART THIRTEEN: The Lion's Den

_Bella POV_

Awareness was an elusive thing, floating just out of reach. I needed to wake up, I knew there was a reason, but it was equally elusive. So I drifted, letting the currents take me where they wished to go. The nightmares couldn't reach me here, but if I didn't wake soon, my freedom would be fleeting. The demon wolves would again chase me through the endless, dark woods, and this time there would be no angel to spirit me away.

Like a distant memory, I felt a cool hand touch my forehead. I breathed in a scent like jasmine kissed with the warmth of vanilla, a scent so fascinating, so unusual, that it drew me to the surface as my formless worries could not. I searched my memory for something like it, working through the puzzle as my mind slowly shook off the bonds of sleep. At last, I broke the surface of consciousness and opened my eyes. The bed where I lay was large enough that my outstretched arm didn't touch the edge. Drapes of sheer white linen hung from the dark wood of the bed frame, and as I looked toward the muted daylight, they stirred in the breeze from an open balcony door.

"Are you cold, Bella?" I turned my head at the sound of that melodic voice, and again the fascinating scent washed over me.

"No..." That was true, I was very comfortable. I began to roll onto my side, and a hand gently stopped me.

"Your shoulder will be sore. Please, allow me." There was a rustle of fabric, followed by the shift of the bed as someone sat down, and I looked up into an incredibly beautiful face. With her curling dark hair and porcelain skin she could have been a Pre-Raphaelite painting come to life. She smiled at me then, and my heart ached painfully in response. I'd seen that expression only a handful of times from Renee; the smile of a mother looking down on a beloved child. "Hello Bella," she said quietly, and her voice was a song. "I'm Esme Cullen."

"Where am I?" I struggled to sit up and Esme leaned forward to deftly tuck extra pillows behind me, handling me as easily and carefully as a doll.

"You are a guest in my home." If it were possible, her smile softened. "The home I share with my family."

"Your home?" I frowned, trying to sift through my memories, but I couldn't seem to make sense of what was dream and what was reality. "I'm sorry... I just... how did I get here?"

Esme took a deep breath and looked down at the hands she had folded neatly in her lap. Her lovely face became grave. "From what I understand, you were attacked in the woods. It was very fortunate that the boys were close enough to help you."

"The boys?" I pieced together my memories. The wolves, had they been real? And Edward... Dr. Cullen... I looked back up at her again, making an intuitive leap. "You're Dr. Cullen's wife?" Which meant... "Edward is your brother."

The smile returned, bright and approving. "Carlisle is my husband, yes." The way she said his name was lovely and intimate, as though she relished every chance she had to speak it. "Edward is very dear to me."

Edward... I remembered running through the woods, his voice calling me to him like a lifeline. I remembered his arms around me, and in that moment feeling safer than I ever had in my life. Without question I knew that as long as those arms held me that nothing on this earth would do me harm. Sudden fear pierced my heart then, and my hands flew to my middle. I fell; that I remembered clearly. What about the baby?

A cool hand rested over mine. "Carlisle says that the baby should be fine." Her smile turned wry. "Of course he would like to take you to his hospital and run any number of tests, but I think that can wait for the time being." The relief was fierce, and she shared it with me, the lovely gold of her eyes gleaming with understanding. Though I'd known this woman for only a few brief minutes, I felt perfectly at ease with her. More than that, I felt cared for.

Once that fear was laid to rest, morning sickness was the next item on the agenda. I took several shallow breaths in an attempt to ward it off, but it was a lost cause. "I'm sorry," I said faintly. "But if you'll excuse me, I think I need to get to the bathroom." She never hesitated, but simply helped me out of bed and across one of the largest bedrooms I'd ever seen, leaving me at the bathroom door with a promise to stay close by. Fortunately, it was only a token effort, there was barely anything in my body to be sick with.

A few minutes later, I stood at the marble vanity and splashed my face with cool water. The reflection in the mirror was rough, pale even by my standards. "You look like hell, Mrs. Black," I murmured faintly, turning my head to admire a couple of stellar bruises on my face and neck. Another livid mark peeked from under the collar of the nightgown I wore. It was soft cotton, and a size too large, I wondered which member of the Cullen family I was borrowing it from. I lifted my left hand to tug it back into place, but the wrong movement set my shoulder on fire and the nausea came rushing back. Unable to move, I swayed over the sink, taking slow, deep breaths. Gradually it faded, and I resisted the urge to collapse on the floor in a Bella-shaped heap. Surely I had a shred or two of dignity left, best to preserve it while I could.

There was a knock at the door, followed by Esme's musical voice. "Bella?"

"Come in."

Golden eyes found me immediately when the door opened, assessing for damages. "Are you alright?"

"Getting there." I managed a wan smile for her benefit.

Her answering smile said that the effort was acknowledged and appreciated, but that she missed nothing. "I thought you might want to take a bath." The covetous look I cast toward the shower made her laugh. On the vanity she laid a small pile of folded clothing, then moved to open a closet from which she pulled fresh towels. "There's quite an assortment of soaps in there, feel free to use whatever you like." She paused, then gave me another long look. "Do you need some help?"

I hesitated, but the pain in my shoulder still lingered, that alone was enough to stifle my pride. "I hate to ask..."

"It's my pleasure." Something about her soothing presence, the way she anticipated every need before I could voice it, made it impossible to feel awkward. She helped me undress, fussing gently that I was too thin for an expectant mother, and set the water in the shower to warm up. The shower itself could have accommodated an entire family with room to spare, and sported an impressive array of controls and water jets. Esme shooed me inside and slid the door closed, gracefully perching on the bench from a dressing table. "If you feel up to it, I'd love for you to meet the family," she said idly. I finished poking at the shower settings as much as I dared, and glanced at her through the frosted glass.

"Of course." The family. Did that include Edward? I closed my eyes, resisting the urge to turn the water up to scalding as a shiver went through me. So many questions, so few answers, and still my thoughts came inevitably back to him. Edward Cullen should be the least of my worries... and yet I found myself wrestling with hurt feelings that he'd dumped me off on his sister at the earliest convenience.

As though she'd heard those sulky thoughts, Esme continued. "Be kind to Edward, won't you? I suspect he'll be horribly grumpy when he gets back." She laughed as though at a private joke. "I refused to let him mope any longer by your bedside, so I had his brother drag him off for a little while. He'll be quite put out that he missed you by less than an hour."

"He stayed all night?" I wasn't adept enough to mask the pleasure in my voice.

"All night and all day, my dear," she said gently. "It's nearly evening." I processed that information as I worked a shampoo that smelled like honeysuckle through my hair. "Ah, I think I hear Alice and Jasper. Emmett and Edward shouldn't be too far behind them."

I frowned, searching my mind for those names, but didn't find them. More new faces, then. "By the way... thank you. I'm still not sure how much of what I remember is real and what was a nightmare... but I don't think I can go home right now." The reservation was no less of a trap than it was before, and Charlie's house was no better. That literally left me with nowhere to go.

"Carlisle is very fond of you, Bella. And Edward..." She paused, and I sensed there was greater meaning in what she didn't say than what she actually did. "Edward is also very fond of you. We are all in agreement that the situation in La Push is not a safe environment for you right now. Whatever we can do to help you, we will."

There wasn't much I could say to that beyond the obvious. "Thank you." She effortlessly picked up the thread of conversation again, telling me about the house, she'd decorated it herself, and details about her family. Emmett, Edward and Alice were all siblings, I assumed they were all also _her_ siblings, although she never specifically said that. Emmett was married to Rosalie and Alice was married to Jasper, and apparently they all lived in this house together. Initially I couldn't quite fathom that, but judging from the size of the bedroom, which I learned was actually Carlisle and Esme's, it was possible they only occasionally bumped into each other. "So... Edward is the only one by himself?"

At first I thought I'd made a mistake in asking, that she wouldn't answer. When she did speak, her voice was sad, a grief I could only guess at beneath her words. "Yes, Edward is the only one of us that is alone." The silence settled over us again, and I found myself reluctant to break it. I looked down at the ring on my left hand, twisting it restlessly as the water rained down. I knew what it meant to be alone. Even now, when my life was bound to someone else's... I had never felt more alone in my life. After a long moment more, I turned the water off, running my right hand through my hair to squeeze the water from it as I tried to think of anything but Edward.

_Where are you, Jake?_ I refused to cry, not now.

"Here we are." Esme's voice was warm and easy again as she met me at the shower door with a bath sheet. I was in a robe with my hair in a towel when someone knocked on the door. "Come in."

The door opened, and through it swept a tiny young woman with short, dark hair, a delicate, elfin face, and fiercely intelligent gold eyes. "Hello Esme! Hello Bella!" She bounced over to me, looking into my face with open curiousity.

"This is Alice, Bella."

Alice took both of my hands, holding them like we were old friends. Just like Esme's, just like Edward's and Carlisle's, her hands were oddly cold. "It's so awesome to meet you finally!" She grinned, and it was impossible not to grin back. "How are you going to dress her, Esme?" Not letting go of my hands, she turned to look at the older woman, her eyes immediately flicking to the folded clothes on the vanity. "Hmmm..." Setting the underwear aside, she shook out what I realized was a long, flowing dress made of a vibrant, dark blue cotton jersey. It was sleeveless, with an empire waist, and the hem of the skirt would brush the ground on me. I eyed it skeptically, but Alice seemed pleased. "Oh yes, I think this will do nicely." The two of them shared a look that I couldn't quite decipher, but I had an odd feeling that there was mischief involved.

In short order I was dressed and seated before the mirror while Alice dried my hair. Much to my surprise, I really liked the dress. It was amazingly comfortable, the color was gorgeous, and it didn't hurt that my pregnancy boobs filled it out nicely. When Alice finally left my hair alone, it fell down my back in a sleek, dark fall, and against my protests she fastened a necklace of silver leaves and dark blue sapphires at my throat. "Why do I get the feeling I'm going to an event?" I couldn't help the fact that I sounded suspicious. I was.

"You're meeting the family," Alice said simply, as though that explained everything.

"Besides," Esme added, a secretive smile curving her lips, "since we've kept Edward at bay this long, we're somewhat obligated to give him something worth waiting for."

"I'm married." I didn't mean for it to sound like such a weak excuse, honestly I didn't.

"We know," Alice smiled at me in the mirror. "So does he." She stroked my hair, tucking it gently behind my ear. "It's strange, I never quite understood the whole thing about pregnant women and glowing. But... you're definitely glowing, Bella."

"You're beautiful," Esme agreed. A blush colored my cheeks despite my best efforts to prevent it. Only one other person had ever said that to me, and I'd married him.

"We'd better go, the likelihood of the dragon storming the castle just took a significant jump." Alice said with a giggle. She took one hand, Esme took the other and they drew me to my feet, leading me out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom beyond.

Little by little I saw more of the Cullen house as they steered me through the hallways. Everywhere there were light and airy spaces, tasteful furnishings and beautiful works of art. I would have compared it to a museum, but no museum had ever been so warm or inviting. When we reached the wide staircase, Alice disappeared down it first, and Esme left me to follow her while she brought up the rear, quietly making sure I didn't trip on my skirt. That was always a possibility with me.

"...I really don't see what all this is about." I could hear Edward's low and furious voice from the foyer at the bottom of the stairs, but I couldn't see him yet. "And would you _please_ stop singing that infernal song in your head? For the love of all that's--" I was on the third step from the floor when his voice trailed off.

Lifting my head, I looked up into his face, and it was like seeing him for the first time all over again. Electricity raced through my body like summer lightning, and I wondered if there could possibly be another man in the world that was as lovely as Edward Cullen was in that moment. The way he looked at me, the way his eyes swept over me, no one else existed but us.

"Aren't you glad you waited, now?" Alice said quietly to her brother, her eyes dancing.

Edward shook his head, and a crooked smile curved his lips. "For her?" He glanced at his sister, then back to me. "Forever wouldn't be too long."

Leaving her behind, he came to the bottom of the stairs and wordlessly held out his hand to me. I hesitated, then slowly descended those last three steps, and placed my warm hand in his cool one. "Forever?" I asked softly, and I meant to reason with him, to warn him about silly words and silly moments. But I didn't.

"Forever." One word, and no flowery promise could have moved me more... One word, and that beautiful, crooked smile was my undoing.


	14. Lancelot's Curse

PART FOURTEEN: Lancelot's Curse

_Bella POV_

When I was a little girl, I loved fairy tales. You know the stories, a beautiful princess meets a dashing knight, they fall in love, slay dragons, break curses and live happily ever after. All girls dream of being the princess, of meeting a knight and finding that happy ever after. But little girls grow up, and gradually they learn that, more often than not, the ever after isn't happy at all. I still loved to read of course, but I turned to different stories with more complex meanings, and in time my impractical fantasies became sturdy realities. So when my best friend got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife, I didn't see a dashing knight or a handsome prince. I saw a good man, a wonderful man, and I was a very ordinary girl who would be crazy to turn him down. So I didn't. I loved him, after all. As much as I had ever loved anyone. A simple, ordinary girl who had put aside her fairy tales couldn't ask for more.

Bella Black was a wife, an expectant mother, she worked as a teacher's aide while finishing her own degree. You could search the Brothers Grimm from cover to cover, and not a single one of those things would meet the qualifications for heroine. At best I might have been a supporting character, a milkmaid or perhaps an ugly stepsister. With my ordinary looks and my ordinary life, I never could have anticipated finding myself on that staircase, in my flowing dress and borrowed gems, looking down into the face of the dashing knight.

I wondered if this was this how Guinevere felt, looking down on Lancelot? Did her heart race, her body trembling as she recognized the whisper of Destiny in her ear? Had she taken those last few steps and put her hand in his?

It was not Lancelot that held my hand, but I felt no regret at that. Not even Lancelot could outshine Edward Cullen. My memory held only the palest reflection of the reality; the chiseled perfection of his face, the gleaming bronze of his hair and the molten gold of his eyes were so much _more_ than the memory. The cool strength of his hand tightened around mine and he led me away from the stairs into the large, open space of the Cullen great room. It was beautiful, open and airy, filled with tasteful furniture and light colors designed to emphasize the space. The entire rear wall was glass, looking out on an expanse of green.

"Carlisle should be home in about half an hour," Esme remained on the stairs, and when I turned back toward her, Alice was just disappearing up the staircase behind her. "Why don't you show Bella the garden, Edward?" Her expression was oddly somber, and as I looked at Edward, there was a tension in his eyes that hadn't been there before. Something was wrong, I could feel it, another mystery to add to the growing pile that seemed to surround this man and his family.

"I'd like to see it," I said quietly.

An unreadable look flitted across his face, but then he smiled, tucking my hand into the crook of my arm. "Of course, as my lady wishes." As we traveled the length of the room toward the kitchen, I couldn't help but be aware of the fact that the smile had never reached his eyes.

#  
_  
POV Shift- Edward_

_It can't be helped, my dear. If she remains here for any length of time, for her own safety, she _must _know. _My mother was right, of course. That didn't make the thought of telling Bella the truth any less daunting. Events were moving forward at a pace that made them hard to predict and even harder to control. Bella's near-disastrous flight through the woods and our timely rescue hadn't helped that. Not in the slightest.

Of course, the meddlesome women in my family weren't making things any easier, either. I glanced down at the lovely creature at my side, and wondered again if I had stumbled into a waking dream. Even in the muted light of evening, she glowed. The vivid blue of her dress was a perfect contrast against her fair skin, I couldn't imagine her in a more beautiful color. The gems at her throat, the way her hair fell loose down her back were simple and natural and yet incredibly beguiling. It wasn't so much that she was impossible to resist, although she was that, but more that I lacked any will to fight.

As we stepped outside, a breeze stirred the silken fall of her hair, and I closed my eyes, a tremor going through me as I was left awash in her scent. For a moment I could do no more than stand very still, intensely aware of her warm hand on my arm, listening to the rapid beat of her heart as it moved to some unknown anxiety. Did she sense that she had stumbled into a den of monsters? Could she possibly suspect that the very worst of them stood at her side even now?

The moment passed and I breathed out, hoping she hadn't noticed my lapse as I guided her down the porch steps. A short distance down a path paved in white stones lay the beginnings of Esme's garden. In every place that we had lived, she always had something like this. Depending on the length of our stay, they became increasingly more elaborate, and some of the gardens she had tended in the past were impressive by any standard. This one had a fountain at its center, with an edge wide enough to sit on, and terraced beds that surrounded it in a circle. The lowest beds held whatever annuals had caught her fancy this season, a riot of bright colors and fragrance. Above them, however, were Esme's pride and joy. Roses, dozens of them, in every imaginable color, lovingly groomed and tended. Most of them were in full bloom right now, and their perfume would normally have been enough to overwhelm any other scent. But not even they could dilute the call of Bella's blood.

I sat down on the edge of the fountain, trailing my fingertips in the water as I watched Bella take it all in. "This is amazing," she said quietly, reaching out to lightly touch the petals of a crimson blossom.

"This is actually one of her smaller gardens." I smiled, enchanted by the vision of Bella leaning forward, eyes closed, to breathe in the rose's fragrance. "Careful of the thorns."

"Oh, right." She pulled her hand back, thankfully unscathed, with a sheepish look. "I suppose I shouldn't be touching them at all."

"It's not that." I hesitated, unsure of how to say what needed saying. "I just don't want you to hurt yourself... It could be bad if you started bleeding." I thought, I _hoped_, that I was strong enough to withstand a simple thorn-prick. Last night, when the fear of losing her to the dogs had been stronger than anything, I'd been able to resist her blood. But I was uncertain of whether that would continue to hold true.

"Mm, that's true; I'm not good with blood." I blinked, unable to help myself as I arched an eyebrow at her. "It makes me nauseous. I think the smell bothers me the most." she explained quickly, uncomfortable under my scrutiny.

"People can't smell blood," I said cautiously, frowning at her.

"Well, _I_ can." She frowned back. "It smells like rust… and salt."

"I see." Ironic, that. I merely watched her for a few moments more, closing my eyes to savor her sweet laughter when she disturbed a flight of butterflies from a cluster of snow-white asters. How easy it was to pretend I was just an ordinary man, watching a beautiful girl at play in a garden. But no amount of pretending would change the truth. "Bella..." My soft voice carried to her, she paused but didn't look up. "I'm sure you've noticed that both I and my family are unusual."

"Yeah… I've noticed." She turned toward me, and she could have been an earthbound goddess in her flowing dress and soft sandals, crowned by my mother's beloved roses. "You moved across a parking lot in the blink of an eye and stopped a truck from crushing me with your bare hands." A wry smile curved her lips. "It was hard to miss." Her narrowed eyes dared me to challenge her, but I simply nodded for her to continue. "You're incredibly beautiful, all of you. Bad circulation and strange eyes seem to go along with that."

"Observant."

"Also..." She hesitated. "I'm still not sure what happened last night... but somehow you knew where to find me. You knew, and you stopped whatever was chasing me."

"Wolves, Bella. There were wolves chasing you." She shook her head and frowned at me, sure that I was mistaken.

"That's not possible." Though I could not read her thoughts, I could see in her eyes that not even she was convinced. "They were huge. Not just that..." A shiver went through her, and I was afflicted with a sudden longing to hold her, to comfort her, but I didn't move from where I sat on the fountain's edge. "They were herding me." She went still, looking up at me as realization dawned. "They were trying to stop me from getting to you."

"Probably," I agreed quietly. "Werewolves and vampires are natural enemies."

"Werewolves and vampires?" I waited for the horror, the fear, but it never came. Instead, deep in thought, she turned away and walked along the flower beds, making a slow circle around the fountain where I remained, waiting. "The tribal legends," she whispered. In what seemed an absent gesture, she reached out and touched another rose blossom. This one was white with crimson edges, like blood on pale skin. A petal fell when her fingertip brushed against it, and she captured it in her hand, turning to face me. "Well, that certainly explains a lot." She met my eyes then without flinching, her expression guardedly curious but not afraid.

"You're taking this far too calmly." My eyes narrowed. "Think it through, Bella."

"I have." A smile curved her lips. "If anything it's a relief to know there's some form of logic to all of this." She tilted her head. "Though I can't say knowing what you are makes you any less remarkable."

"What I am?" I rose to my feet, a sudden, desperate anger sparking to life in my chest. I couldn't walk away from her, I was in too deep. But she still had a choice, she was still capable of making a sane and safe decision. How could she be so blind to the truth? "You have no idea what I am."

"Not completely, no." Even in the face of my anger she was calm. "But it's easier to believe that you and your family are vampires than to try and accept the idea that you're normal."

"That's it, then?" I stared at her, incredulous. There was no way she was completely grasping the gravity of the situation. "You find yourself in a house full of monsters and you shrug it off?"

"If you intended to hurt me, you've passed up a number of opportunities." Her eyes dropped to the rose petal she still cupped in her hand. "In fact you've put yourself at risk more than once now because of me, haven't you?"

Raking a hand through my hair, I looked away. "You're entirely too trusting of my motives."

"Maybe." Bella nodded. "I can't deny that. But I can't be any other way." She stepped toward me, and I took a step back. Shaking her head, she sighed. "I feel safe with you, Edward. Safer than... well, than I ever have."

"We're predators." Leaning down, I picked up one of the river stones at my feet. "Everything about us is designed to make us more attractive to our prey. Our appearance, our voices, even our scent. All it takes is luring the prey in close and--" I calmly crushed the stone to dust in my hand. "There is no escape. Your feeling of safety is an elaborate ruse."

Those clear brown eyes studied me for several long moments, and I wondered if at last I'd gotten through to her. "No," she said finally. "I don't think so." Eyes determined, she approached. I backed up another step, but she never paused. My fists clenched, and I looked down, unable to bear the sight of her face, unable to control the need that raged inside of me and had absolutely nothing to do with her blood. "It wouldn't matter if you were a demon, or an angel." She was so close now, I could feel the warmth of her radiating against my death-cold skin like sunlight. Then her hands curled around one of mine, and I was trembling. "You could be Superman or Darth Vader, and I wouldn't care."

"Darth Vader?" I tried to make my voice light, but it was too rough for lightness.

"An appropriate villain." She arched an eyebrow, daring me to say more. In any other situation it would have been funny. "My point is, it doesn't change anything." Bella still held my hand between both of hers. I stared at them, counting her heartbeats, and then very slowly and carefully pulled my hand away.

"That's a dangerous way to think, Bella," I whispered. "A very dangerous way."

She bit her lip, resting her hands on her stomach as her thoughts went somewhere I was frustratingly unable to follow. When she spoke, her voice was soft, with the faintest note of... bitterness? regret? "Maybe I'm tired of making the safe choices, Edward." She closed her eyes. "Even with her life and the kingdom at stake, Guinevere chose love. She chose her knight, Edward. With his bloodied armor and his death-dealing sword, she still took him in her arms."

I clenched my jaw. "Lancelot's curse was to fall in love with the unattainable woman."

"But Guinevere didn't make the safe choice." When she opened her eyes, she looked at me with those dark and velvet eyes that pulled me down and swallowed me whole. "She chose him." My choice had been made long ago. I could fight its shackles all I liked, all I had to do was look into those fathomless eyes to know it was still binding. In my weakness I had damned myself, and perhaps her as well, but I didn't care. Bella was here, she knew at least a little of the worst of me, and here she remained. This time it was I that reached out and captured her hands, lifted them to my lips, and pressed a kiss to the soft skin of each.

"Lancelot's curse is mine," I breathed. "But I beg of you to make the safe choice."

Bella gently pulled one hand from mine and turned it over. In it she still held the white rose petal with its crimson edge. Holding it delicately with her fingertips, she pressed it to her lips, then with the smile of the goddess curving her sweet mouth, she lifted her hand and pressed the soft, fragrant petal to mine. "I think... it may be too late."

Too late... Far too late, for us both.


	15. Bedrock of the Soul

PART FIFTEEN:

_Bella POV_

Too late. Perhaps it had been too late the day I was born. The connection between us lay that deep, beneath the foundations of what we were, extending into the bedrock of soul and self. They say that the truth shall set you free, but it's a bold-faced lie. The truth is simply its own form of shackle, while it may change the way the mind thinks, it seldom changes anything else. The circumstances remain the same.

Heart and soul might protest that they belonged to Edward Cullen, but my body was still bound to Jacob Black. His ring was still on my finger and his child slept in my belly. My heart still loved him, I swear it did… but not like this. Never like this.

So I stood in a garden, surrounded by roses, and confessed my sin to a vampire. A fallen angel that watched me with tortured golden eyes that mirrored the beautiful complexity of his soul. Those eyes gazed intently at me now, searching for something they couldn't seem to find. An unhappy smile quirked his lips, and he looked down at our joined hands. "I'm not used to feeling this helpless," he whispered. "Of being unable to look ahead and anticipate what's coming." He hesitated, and the corners of his mouth pulled downward into a frown. "Part of my… _gift_," his voice twisted on the word, "is the ability to read the thoughts of others."

I went still, eyes widening as a flush burned along my skin like wildfire. "Oh god…"

"Actually, you have nothing to worry about." Amusement warred with frustration in his eyes as he tentatively reached out and brushed a lock of hair from my face. "You seem to be the sole exception to that ability."

Exception? "Do you mean you can't hear my thoughts?"

"No." He slid his cool fingers through my hair, gently cupping my face in his hand. "And that's never happened before."

"So…" My lips twitched. "Does that mean there's something wrong with my brain?"

He tucked my hair behind my ear, his fingertips tracing a sinuous line from my temple to my jaw. "I'd considered that possibility." A wry smile returned to his lips. "And I have to admit it seems more likely now that you've refused to run away screaming like any normal human should."

"I see." Funny that it was the fact that he couldn't hear my thoughts that disturbed me the most. That was probably because I didn't have a ready explanation for why. "As for the whole running thing? I just found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago. As revelations go, vampires are nothing." I grinned, but I could already tell he didn't think much of my comparison.

"The miracle of life trumps bloodthirsty monsters?" His eyebrows climbed toward his hairline. "You're right, I was clearly mistaken, there's definitely something wrong with your brain." Sarcasm wasn't very dashing, I'd have to make him aware of that. Later.

"When you get pregnant, then I'll let you make that decision," I said agreeably. He actually stared at that, and I laughed, feeling very comfortable and very safe. Better than I'd felt in longer than I could remember, in fact.

"How that could even cross your mind is… unfathomable. The physical impossibilities are just for starters." He shook his head, but he was smiling again. My heart beat faster, and I lifted a hand to cover his cool one where it cupped my cheek. On impulse, I slowly turned my head just enough to press a soft kiss against his palm. The look in his eyes as they met mine made me shiver. "Sweet lips make promises they cannot keep," he whispered.

"Why wouldn't I keep my promises?" There was a certain irony to that question, when asked by a married woman to a man not her husband. "Or maybe there are no promises at all. No certainties. Maybe we'll just have to live for this moment and forget about the ones after." Was that a twinge of desperation in my voice? I didn't know what to say, or what to think. The world was spinning too fast, and I was tired of it. I was tired of all the demands and the drama. This felt _right_, it felt real. Why were the women expected to fight the lonely fight and hold the kingdom together when the men went off to fight their wars? Why was Guinevere to blame for finding love when her existence had become the absence of love? Was her choice so wrong when Arthur had been the one to leave her?

"There are a lot of moments in forever; it's difficult for me to forget all of them at once." Edward's wry voice pulled me away from my inner struggle. "An infinite number to live without you, if I were to lose you." His thumb caressed my cheek over and over. "If you were mine to lose."

"I'm here now." The words didn't hold the comfort I would have liked, and we both knew it.

"You are." The way he said it held a certain finality, as though he were trying to make himself content with it. For a long moment, he was silent, then he lightly stroked my hair, his eyes caressing as he looked at me with undisguised appreciation. "I don't think I told you," he said quietly. "But you look beautiful." Again that smile curved his lips, the one that was both knowing and sad. "It's easy to believe this garden was put here so that you could stand in it this evening."

"Like something out of a fairytale."

"Exactly like that." Leaning down, he pressed his lips to my forehead. He remained there, his cool cheek against my temple as I quietly breathed in the scent of him, just trying to be. "Esme would like very much to introduce you to the rest of our family," he said finally. "Do you think you'd be alright with that?" Pulling back, he captured my eyes. "Knowing what we are."

"I know you think that I should be afraid of you, Edward…" I reached up and lightly held his face in my hands. "I'm not. I'm not afraid of you. I'm not afraid of Esme or Alice, I'm certainly not afraid of Dr. Cullen."

My insistence troubled him, I could tell that immediately. He frowned and shook his head. "There's nothing wrong with a little self-preservation now and then. I think it would make me feel better if you possessed some."

"Sure, there's nothing wrong with it." I nodded, I even smiled. "But I'm not going to run screaming, and if we've already established that, then I might as well be sociable. If worst comes to worst, there's not going to be much I can do about it anyway, so I don't see why I should waste time worrying about it." Okay, perhaps I wasn't quite so zen about things, but it sounded good.

He arched an eyebrow, and the sentiment was eloquent. "I put a higher value on your life than that, and I would thank you to remember it." Those golden eyes bored down into mine, making absolutely certain that he was understood. Then he smoothly turned and offered me his arm. "If worst comes to worst... well, I won't let it come to that."

"It's my life," I replied tartly, but I reached out and slid my arm through his as we began walking back toward the house. "Remember _that_, please."

"What about your child's life?" The question caught me off-guard, and instinctively my hand flew to my stomach. I was ashamed to admit that it hadn't really crossed my mind. I still wasn't used to the idea of being a mother, of shielding another life inside of me... but I couldn't just dismiss his question. It literally had me speechless. "That has to be sobering," Edward said quietly, his tone apologetic. "I didn't intend to use it against you... but I think you need to seriously consider it."

"You're right." I took a deep breath, my hand still protectively splayed across my belly. "You're absolutely right. It's not my life... and I completely forgot that." My expression took a bleak turn as I gazed unseeing at the windows of the house that lay beyond us. "What kind of a mother am I?"

He stopped, turning to take my face in his hands again. "You _will_ be a good one." The gentle reassurance in his tone buoyed me up. "For now, you're young and frightened, and alone. Anyone that's gone through what you have in the past few days would be overwhelmed. It's to be expected and completely forgivable." I hadn't realized that I was crying until he gently wiped away the tears from my cheeks. "Bella... it's going to be alright."

I closed my eyes, the gentle comfort like a balm to my bruised and battered soul. It was pathetic how badly I needed even that small encouragement, how wearily needful I was of a pair of strong hands to hold me up when I stumbled. The ease with which he slipped into that role wasn't lost on either of us. I took a deep breath, steadying myself. Seized by the desire to lighten the mood, a slightly mischievous grin curving my lips, and I lightly poked him."So... what happened to my needing to be more fearful of your carnivorous family?"

He sighed and swore softly, I'd caught _him_ off-guard this time. "It's still a valid point," he said firmly. "And it will remain a valid point regardless of you determination to ignore it." Letting me go, he tucked my arm through his again and resumed our walk toward the house.

"So... how many members of your family are there?" I glanced up at him, curious.

"There are seven of us, total." Golden eyes met mine and he seemed to be contemplating something. "I need to apologize. The story we're portraying right now is that I am Esme's brother. The truth is, she and Carlisle are more my adoptive parents than anything."

I nodded. "So none of you are actually related." Again I had to fight the urge to giggle as he lifted his eyebrows, impressed.

"You _are_ perceptive."

"No..." I grinned. "I'm just a good guesser."

He smiled. "Alright, a good guesser, then." Pausing, he looked thoughtful. "Alice and Emmett... I definitely couldn't ask for a better sister or brother. The ties between us are stronger than blood. Jasper is no less my brother, really, but our relationship is a bit more... subtle? And my relationship with Rosalie is... lovingly adversarial." Pleased with his description, he chuckled, then paused to look down at me with shining eyes. "I'm anxious for you to meet them all."

"I'm anxious about that, too." Now that I thought about it, I really was. I'd met Carlisle, Esme and Alice already, of course. But not under these circumstances... Although, what were the circumstances, really? I looked up at him again, and wondered. Uncannily it felt like a man taking his chosen lady home to meet the family. Wasn't that exactly what it was? Did that bother me?

No. It didn't. And I was left to ponder that as he led me through the back door. Four pairs of eyes were on us as soon as we stepped into the room. Edward made a soft sound of annoyance, but I had no way of knowing why and he wasn't telling. Instead he smoothed over his expression immediately and guided me forward.

Esme watched me intently from where she sat on the couch, an anxious look in her golden eyes. Carlisle stood close beside her, his expression more neutral, but as I met his gaze, he smiled and inclined his head in a welcoming nod. Alice was by far the most relaxed of the four, curled up like a contented cat on the lap of a lean, blonde-haired man, the only one of the four I hadn't met. His expression was even more neutral than Carlisle's had been, not forbidding precisely, just cautious. A reserve that the dark-haired pixie in his arms had little patience for. "I told you," she declared with satisfaction, her words meant for them all. "I told you that she'd be just fine."

Patting her companion on the knee, she vaulted off his lap and was at my side in an eyeblink. With an incandescent smile, she took my other hand, squeezing it gently in her cold fingers. Edward looked down at her with a grin that was pure affection, and I had a feeling that if I hadn't stood between them that he would have ruffled his sister's short, spiky hair.

"Bella, this is my family," he said quietly. "Most of it, anyway." The annoyance was back. "These are my parents, Carlisle and Esme." Esme rose gracefully to her feet, her anxious expression given way to a beautiful smile. "You know Alice." Alice bumped my shoulder with a conspiratorial giggle. "This is Jasper." He nodded toward the man whom Alice had been cuddling moments before. Jasper had shifted so that he was leaning forward in the chair, elbows resting on his knees.

"It's nice to meet you, Bella," he said, his voice polite, expression still neutral.

"Don't mind him," Alice said quietly, "he'll warm up as he gets to know you."

"I have to apologize for Rosalie." Esme frowned, glancing toward the wide windows at the back of the room. "She's being somewhat difficult about this."

"Emmett's trying to reason with her," Alice added. "But it's not going to help much."

"Rosalie's always difficult." Snorting softly, Edward shifted so that he could slide his arm around my waist. It was a subtle gesture, but it pleased me far more than it should. "Being difficult is what she _does_."

"Edward, please be nice." Esme scolded him as she glided gracefully forward. "I'm so glad that you wanted to stay." Edward loosened his grip just enough to let her pull me into a careful hug. Leaning back, she held my face in her cool hands. "I wouldn't have blamed you for leaving, but..."

"It's hard to let go of someone when you're already attached." I covered one of her hands with my own, and I could feel Edward's delighted approval shining on me like sunlight.

"Exactly."

Carlisle had quietly joined his wife as we spoke. I glanced at him, and then impulsively pulled away from Edward and Esme, hesitating briefly before I stepped close enough to give him a tentative hug. I could sense his surprise, but his arms went around me as gently and carefully as Esme's. "Thank you," I said quietly.

"For what, my dear?" He looked slightly puzzled as I pulled back to look into his face.

"A little of everything, I think." It was hard to describe exactly what had led me hug him, I'd just... wanted to. "For taking care of me. For taking care of my baby. For inviting me into your home." _And perhaps most importantly, allowing me to meet your son_. I had a lot to thank this man for. In that respect, the hug was just a down payment.

Without knowing precisely how, I sensed Edward was behind me. He slid his arms around my waist again, tugging me back against him as though he were done sharing. It made me smile, but my smile was nothing compared to the look on Esme's face as she watched us; a look of quiet joy.

"Thank you," Edward murmured in my ear as the others relaxed and dispersed, leading the way back toward the furniture where we could more comfortably talk.

"For what?" I laughed softly, realizing I was echoing Carlisle.

"For being your stubborn, infuriating, amazing self."

I laughed again, leaning into the cold solidity of his body. "You're welcome... and I'll remind you of that the next time you complain."

He pressed his cool lips to my bare shoulder. "You do that."

"I will. Count on it."


	16. Rose Garden Grudge Match

CHAPTER SIXTEEN: Rose Garden Grudge Match

_Edward POV_

I can't say for certain how long we stayed there, just talking. The awkwardness gave way to an intimate familial warmth within the first few minutes, and Bella very naturally became a part of that dynamic. She asked polite questions and attentively listened to each answer, never wavering even when the answers became stories. Not even Jasper could resist her for long, his thoughts fixating less and less on her scent as time wore on.

At first we sat together on the sofa, formality abandoned as she slipped her sandals off to tuck her feet beneath her. We kept a friendly distance, an appropriate and casual reserve, but as the time passed that distance began to lessen. In tiny increments and by mutual accord we shifted closer to one another, drawn as though by some irresistible force. The phenomenon was never addressed directly, but every so often I would catch her lovely, dark eyes flickering my way, her lashes casting long shadows on her fair cheeks as she played at being demure. My family was fully aware of our behavior; Alice was flatly smug, and my mother simply observed with gentle, approving thoughts. Some part of me knew that I should be less encouraged by their implicit permission, but it was impossible to think that way with Bella so close, my body equally on edge both as a predator and as a man.

The conversation continued, drifting as it often will among people with a deep familiarity to one another. We discussed the highlights of my father's day at the hospital and heard Alice's opinions on a new color scheme for the parlor. No one excluded her, but Bella lapsed into a comfortable, observant quiet, content to be present without intruding, her gaze missing very little. Jasper and I were discussing the prospects of a automotive auction in Seattle when I felt a light weight against my arm. I looked down to find Bella's dark head resting against me, her eyes closed. Still not free of exhaustion's clutches, she had fallen asleep there, completely relaxed against my cool, hard body.

This close, I could hear her heartbeat clearly, and for the space of several beats I simply gazed at her. Her body was a sinuous curve against the couch cushions, slender and lovely in her long, blue dress. The inner light that was with her always was shining even in repose; she was breathtaking, and she stole away my every desire to resist. With the greatest care, I slid over a fraction more so that her head was pillowed on my chest, her body tucked securely beneath my arm. She sighed but never opened her eyes, and I dared the trespass of stroking my hand down the silken length of her hair.

_I don't know that I've ever seen that expression on your face._ Esme's thoughts reached me clearly, and I looked up to meet her loving eyes_. It's a beautiful thing, my darling. _A smile curved my lips of its own volition, the warmth of Bella's body against mine a particularly sweet pleasure. Any darker thoughts were kept ruthlessly at bay; I refused to let them spoil the moment.

The talk moved on without me and then transitioned into a weighty silence, their thoughts and eyes turned my way. "We should probably put Bella in bed, Edward." My mother rose, crossing the room to look down into Bella's peaceful face. "She's had a very hard time of it, she needs as much rest as she can get." The reluctance to let her go was powerful, but I had no argument against Esme's sensible words. With a sigh, I stood and cradled Bella in my arms, moving toward the stairs with my mother gliding along in our wake. The room that Esme shared with Carlisle was by far the safest place for Bella to sleep. Neither Carlisle nor Esme posed a danger, and their bed was both comfortable and seldom used.

Upstairs, I lay Bella down and sat on the bed beside her, fully intending to stay while she slept. My mother appeared at my shoulder and discreetly cleared her throat. "I have a nightgown here for her. Something a little more comfortable to sleep in, I'm sure." Anyone else could have feigned ignorance of what Esme wanted. Anyone but me, who could see from her thoughts that I was expected to leave while she saw to Bella's comfort. I frowned, tempted to protest that I was no schoolboy, and fully capable of assisting her. Then I realized that seeing a naked woman and seeing _Bella_ naked were two entirely different things.

If I were human, I suspect I might have blushed. Instead, I nodded and made as graceful an exit as could be managed under the circumstances. Judging by the soft laughter that rippled through my mother's thoughts, I was fooling no one. Sighing, I took up a place outside the door, back against the wall. The day had been surreal, at moments balanced on a knife's edge, and at others so incredibly sweet that it defied words. I wanted to linger in that sweetness, to carry it with me for those times when I was forced to let her go, but that simple desire was denied me, broken up by the unmistakable pull of my brother's thoughts.

_Edward._ Emmett's mind was uncharacteristically sober, his thoughts unusually focused. Immediately it had me on edge. _Could you come downstairs? We need to speak with you._ If there had been any way for him to hold back the truth from me, I suspect he might have. But I was not easily thwarted, and I filtered quickly through the foremost issues on his mind. Straightforward as always, the root of my brother's concern snapped clearly into view--his lovely viper of a wife.

The idea of denying his request was tempting; I had no love for indulging Rosalie in her fits of temper. She was my sister, the wife and beloved of my favorite brother, but I'd learned long ago that Rosalie and I related best at a distance. She resented and disliked me for that very reason; one of the keys to her self-worth was her status as a veritable Helen of Troy among the Greeks. That I'd resisted being cast as Paris in her drama was something she would never forgive. Still, if I poked the queen bee in her nest, it would inevitably cause Emmett grief.

With a sigh, I relented, thinking dark thoughts as my body carried me down the stairs only a fraction slower than the speed of thought. Emmett alone waited for me in the great room. Oh, _of course_, Rosalie had staged her scene elsewhere. No mere interior would do for a pair with our shared penchant for drama. Emmett's thoughts were chagrined by the lengths she went to and with which he complied; when the choice was his to make, the path taken was always the most direct one. It was in such times as these that my brother considered us the simple, childish ones, and he the adult with no taste for our games. Secretly, I had always suspected he was right.

"She's waiting for you," Emmett's voice was quiet, disapproving. There was no need to tell me where she waited, I was already aware, my mind moving past him to where she stood ready for her cue. The rose garden? _Nicely done_. I nodded to him, but said nothing more. Tonight he was no more than a signpost, a living post-it note. Of course she saw him as more, some days it was the only reason I could still tolerate her, but for now the description was apt.

I stepped out into the cool darkness, my eyes drawn unerringly toward my mother's roses. Night was no barrier for my kind; I could see her clearly as I approached, contemplating a coral rose with an artful gravitas. It was all affectation; I wouldn't doubt that she had practiced in the mirror beforehand. Even with access to her thoughts, I couldn't quite fathom why she bothered, unless she was too accustomed to the role to put it aside solely for my benefit.

"You wanted to speak with me?" My refusal to play the game annoyed her, and her sable eyes cut sharply my way. Too bad. I was not about to pretend I was there for the pleasure of her company.

"Someone needs to." She did not turn, her cool demeanor in direct conflict with her seething thoughts. "Carlisle and Esme are in no hurry to rein you in, and Jasper is Alice's lapdog." My jaw clenched, she was in fine form tonight.

"Get to the point, Rosalie." I could be with Bella right now instead of playing this game. That thought did not improve my mood.

At last she faced me, drawing herself up to her full height, a goddess in her righteous fury. Although her charms had never been to my taste, I could appreciate what drew men to her, she was magnificent in her way. "You don't know what you're doing. Not to us, or to her, not even to yourself."

I went very still, my eyes boring into hers. To her credit, she didn't so much as flinch. "I know _exactly_ what I'm doing."

"No. You don't." Her voice was flat, not at all the dulcet tones of a goddess. "She's human, married and she's _pregnant_. As if that were not reason enough to stop your insanity, she belongs to the dogs. Any one thing would be insurmountable; all of them together are proof that you've finally lost your mind."

"I am aware of the challenges." The words were taut, clipped, as I struggled to keep my composure.

"Of course you are." Folding her arms across her chest, her eyes bored into mine. "You've lost all sense of judgment, brother. You think you are just the man to perform this miracle." She shook her head. "God does not grant miracles to demons, Edward." I flinched, her artfully crafted barb hitting just as she'd intended. "If you manage not to kill her, then will you start a war for her?" My hands tightened into fists. "You've brought Helen back to Troy, Paris, but you're a fool if you think the Greeks aren't already debating how best to bring the walls down."

"Shut up, Rosalie."

"You've given them the moral victory already. The righteous husband against the spoiled, adulterous prince—"

"Keep your forked tongue in your poisonous mouth!" I lunged at her, but she slipped away from my grasp. The air became heavy with the menacing thoughts directed my way from Emmett. He was still at the back door of the house, listening in as unobtrusively as possible, but he made it clear he would intervene if I didn't calm myself and quickly. I took a deep breath and fought back the anger, smoothing my lips over my bared teeth.

So Paris was to be my role, then? Fine. So be it. The pale and jealous creature before me was no match for my Helen. I would fight for my queen, to the last breath.

"You're sinking, Edward. And the family is going down with you." Rosalie's voice was soft, urgent. "You'll break the treaty and inflict your miserable insanity on the rest of us, and for what? A fragile human girl you could crush with a heavy sigh. Listen to yourself, she's poisoned you, Edward."

"God, do you ever shut up?" My rage was on the rise again. "If anyone is poisoned, it's you; with bitterness. Bella is far more than you could ever be and that eats you alive!"

If it were possible, she paled. "Do you think I don't know that?" Pain trembled in her every word. "I envy what she has, what she can give to her husband that I can't." Her fists clenched, and in her thoughts she struggled to collect herself, pulling on her mantle of self-righteousness. "But that gift _does_ belong to her husband; it's her husband's child that she carries. She's not yours, Edward. She never will be."

I'd finally had enough. "This conversation is over, Rose." Forcing myself to dismiss her, I turned on my heel. "Don't trouble yourself to try again."

"I just want what's best for the family." She took a step to follow me and I growled, very softly, stopping her in her tracks. Taking a deep breath, she tried one last time. "That includes you."

I turned my head just enough for her to see the cold glint of my eye. "I will thank you not to trouble yourself with my affairs again, madam." The succinct frigidity of my words caused her to recoil, visibly shaken.

Satisfied, I accepted that as my cue to exit, striding off into the night.

_POV Shift- Bella_

Sixteen hours; two-thirds of one twenty-four hour day. A lot when you look at it one way, not very much at all when you look at it another. Sixteen hours is an increment that often passes by with relatively little notice, filled with the various and sundries of life. I can't put my finger on what exactly, but something about spending sixteen hours squeezing a watermelon through a drinking straw makes you sit up and count the seconds. Every second, counted out one after the other, he was with me.

Sometimes he held my hand, his face in my sight, speaking quiet words of encouragement. At other moments, he sat behind me and cradled my body against his, holding and supporting me as each contraction came. I felt his lips at my temple and his hand on my brow, felt him sponge away the sweat before it could blind my eyes. Even when I snapped at him, lashing out from pain, or sobbed that I would not, could not be ready, he never became angry. His soft reassurances were my strength, carrying me through one of the most difficult experiences of my life.

Then in one last rush of pain, as he held me, strained with me; his voice commanded me to push, to not give up, and at last the awful pressure found its relief. A shrill cry filled the air.

"Bella," Edward said softly, my name a song on his lips. "Bella... you did it."

"We did it." Breathless and spent, I could not help a upwelling of joy in my heart as I looked up into his gorgeous green eyes.

"Yeah we did... mom." Smiling with the loving radiance of a sunrise, he stroked my hair back from my face.

I sighed, resting my head back against the pillows. "I'm never going to get used to that."

"Well dad," the doctor's amused voice came from the foot of the bed. "Come and cut the umbilical cord." I grinned at his excitement as he left my side and joined the doctor, allowing me a moment to prepare myself before I met my offspring.

"Is it a boy or a girl?"

"A girl." Edward's voice was reverent. "She's beautiful."

"Can I see her?"

"Here we come!" Opening my eyes, I watched him all but dance toward me with a squirming, blanket-wrapped bundle in his arms. It was only when he came closer that I gasped, my eyes widening in horror as his last few steps to my side were taken in slow motion. What Edward held, what he cradled with such a look of joy, was not a human baby... but a wolf cub that turned to look at me with intelligent eyes as black as night.

I woke up with a muffled cry and sat bolt upright in bed. My heart was racing, and I was breathing like I'd just finished a race. My hand went automatically to my stomach, but nothing seemed amiss. There was no baby, inhuman or otherwise, no green-eyed Edward to greet me when I woke. Just a dark quiet and a sense of being in a strange place. I realized after a moment that I was no longer wearing the blue dress, and I blushed as I contemplated who might have put me in a nightgown. Esme, I'm sure it was Esme. But my questionable certainty didn't stop me from blushing.

Scooting to the edge of the bed, I sat there for a long moment and made an executive decision that a bathroom run was in order. The room was still vast, but it was easy to find my way across with bright moonlight flooding in through the windows. I made it there, accomplished my mission and was heading back when I heard it. Insistent but faint, it took me several heartbeats to realize exactly what I was hearing. My cellphone.

Startled into action, I made two circuits around the bed before realizing the sound was coming from the nightstand drawer... and then it stopped. Yanking the drawer open, I pulled the phone out and flipped it open. There on the screen were the words I'd longed and dreaded to see-- 'Jake-Iraq.' Transfixed, I was frozen by the meaning of those words. Jake was calling me. My husband. My husband was calling me, or trying to. So why couldn't I bring myself to immediately call him back? Why was I staring instead of dialing? It wasn't because I didn't want to talk to him... was it?

The choice was taken from me as the phone came to life again. Startled again, I squeaked and almost dropped it before taking a moment more to stare, frozen with indecision. What should I do? Jake was calling me. What the hell should I do? _Answer it, stupid._

Pressing the button, I hastily brought it to my ear. "Hello?"

"Hey, beautiful." And just like that, there he was. My handsome, loving husband and best friend was on the other end of the line-- and I couldn't find the words to talk to him.

Running my hand through my hair, I said the only thing I could, my voice hoarse with unshed tears. "Hey Sunshine..." If there's someone out there, listening to desperate prayers, I prayed that they would hear me then. Because I was a horrible, horrible person in need of some divine intervention... because I had no idea what I was going to do.


End file.
